Monsters

Top Five is a show where the hosts categorize, rank, compare, and stratify everything… from cars to gadgets to people and movies. From stuff that is hot, and things that are not nearly as interesting – it’s Top Five.

Just in time for Halloween, your hosts reflect on their favorite monsters…

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The Author

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher began his career writing for the Digital Media Online community of sites, including Digital Producer and Creative Mac covering all aspects of the digital content creation industry. He then moved on to consumer technology, and began the Coolness Roundup podcast. A writing fool, Stephen has freelanced for Sci-Fi Channel's Technology Blog, and Gizmodo. Still longing for the good ol' days, Stephen launched Major Spoilers in July 2006, because he is a glutton for punishment.

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9 Comments

  1. November 1, 2013 at 5:55 am — Reply

    Godzilla beats Kong. Then beats Kong again. Then the final fight ends in a draw. Keeping in mind they made King Kong be at least 10 times taller, gave him lightning powers, among other abilities.
    Also he was being helped by the Navy or something. So yeah that film Godzilla won twice before Kong ran away then ended in a draw against a King Kong ten times large and with powers…

    #5: Yog-Sothoth; Imagination called up the shocking form of fabulous Yog-Sothoth — only a congeries of iridescent globes, yet stupendous in its malign suggestiveness. That idea an image of something so simple, yet grandiose, and cosmic in design a thing which cares not how the dice fall for it already knows the outcome

    #4: Swamp Thing: I will add this. When people compare the relationship he has to ‘X’, and Batman saves the day with one of the best lines ever about that blue boy scout was great.

    #3: Jack Skellington, he’s not good no Jack is interesting and fun. He’s a person who loves his job and loves it everyday, but needed a vacation. And the simple story woven from that is what makes him get this spot on the list

    #2: Hannibal Lecter. With a personal favorite being Mads Mikkelsen. Lecter gets into your head and controls the situation by controlling you. He’s as swift to know what makes you tick as he is able to turn out the truth. He knows people and hunts scum, Hannibal does not go after the innocent or the kind. No he has a I’d say delight in hunting those who are vile humans. Are they themselves a monster? Maybe/Maybe not but for Lecter to be dining with you in mind you’re not a good person and I think that makes him all the creepier because in his mind its some amount of justice

    #1: The Devil, done well. Not the thing who challenges you over a fiddle of gold no. Not the one dragging you too hell. The Devil whose for all eternity had a single job, goal, and place. Warden the being who weeds through the humans, who lies, who cheats, and tricks them too find those who are not truly good people. The Devil does not need grab the sinner whose obvious in his crime, but the man who has done evils and hides from them he hands rope and they slowly wined those knots. He’s not evil because it is simply what he does he finds the darkness in our heart and draws it out pulling those strings to create a symphony. So the Devil when used not as a villain but an agent of change, and bringer of light to show the darkness.

  2. Dan
    November 1, 2013 at 11:18 am — Reply

    hearing matthew’s half-assed godzilla roar made me remember that the way produced the sound effect in the original japanese films wasn’t all too different from how the BBC produced the TARDIS’s materialization sound: running keys (or other abrasive/resistive metal objects) up and down piano wire or cello strings, and changing the pitch as needed.

    • November 1, 2013 at 6:59 pm — Reply

      How dare you, sir? I am fully assed at all times!

  3. Kirby
    November 1, 2013 at 2:45 pm — Reply

    5. Gamera- I enjoy that by the 2nd era, he was basically a good guy, but one who was perfectly fine to destroy a city to save the earth. Also the idea he may turn on humanity if we get to dangerous to the planet.

    4.Swamp Thing- Matthew pretty much covered it.

    3.The type of werewolf that exemplifies the danger of animals, and is not able to control its animal instincts.

    2.John Carpenter’s The Thing- some of the body horror is disturbing, plus not knowing who is infected, and who is not is just terrifying.

    1.Lara Raith from the Dresden Files. The series has plenty of good villains, but Lara A) has an enormous amount of political power & resources. B) Is a White Court Vampire, meaning she feeds off your life energy. By being an intrinsically beautiful being who feeds off lust, she will rape you to death and you will enjoy every minute of it.

    • Hirimno
      November 1, 2013 at 11:40 pm — Reply

      Wow, you hit Lara pretty much spot on. Especially the allusions to some of the stuff she and Thomas are involved in in the past 3 books are really crazy.

  4. Dryden
    November 1, 2013 at 3:57 pm — Reply

    Coraline was stop-motion, not CGI. Henry Selick is a stop-motion master and deserves so much more credit than Tim Burton for Nightmare Before Christmas. Also, his James & the Giant Peach is fantastic as well.

    My list:
    5) Rust Monster – Have a pesky pack of adventurers that no longer fear death? I bet you they’ll fear their +4 Flaming Longsword getting turned into scrap…

    4) Grendel – Just go read Beowulf. He’s possibly the first dragon, and is easily one of the most intimidating literary examples of a monster.

    3) The Boys of Silence, from Bioshock Infinite – I’m not a big fan of jump scares in games, and generally avoid horror, but these things managed to be terrifying in their appearance, their actions, and what they meant if you didn’t dispatch them quickly enough. There’s that one that nearly made me break a controller. If you’ve played through it, you know the one.

    2) Xenomorph, from Alien – Like Stephen said, these things are terrifying. The original designs by Geiger are freakish and fantastic, and Ridley Scott uses it just enough to push the crew back into a corner. Mother and Ash are arguably bigger threats to the crew than the xenomorph, but the monster still gets all the credit.

    1) Ungoliant & Shelob – The creature that eats light and spins a web of shadow. She may not be the ‘big bad’ of Middle Earth, but she’s certainly more monstrous and infinitely scarier to consider meeting in a dark forest. Her daughter’s pretty bad-ass, too. Plus they’re gigantic spiders. Everybody gets creeped out by spiders.

  5. November 3, 2013 at 9:40 pm — Reply

    In at 5: Validus, the freaky mind lightning super strong completely indestructible thing that scares superboy, see also http://majorspoilers.com/2008/02/24/hero-history-invisible-kid/

    In at 4: Replicants from Stargate. Another alien, and even harder to kill. Leave even a few chunks in tact and they’ll reproduce and spread and take you out. They are able to adapt and overcome all kinds of sci fi weapons. Sort of like the evil spawn of the borg and tribbles

    In at 3: The thing. Just watch the movie. seriously. nightmare fuel, between it and xenomorphs you have my top five nightmares

    In at 2: Graboids from tremors. Massive inhuman dinosaur worm thingies. not the adaptions from the sequel. A good monster should be something you can fight against, be it shotgun, flamethrower, automatic assualt rifle or a load dynamite. good monsters need to give you hope before they gobble you. Graboids shouldn’t be too scary because all you need to do is get off the ground. But they’re smart and patient. how long can you stay up there…

    and as for my number one;
    Yerks from Animorphs. Anyone you see could be under their control. Anyone. and if they get you you you are under their control. You are stuck within your own head, watching the slug wrapped around your brain use your mouth to suggest that your kid sister should join up for the junior branch of “the sharing” this cool club you are in. Sure a good monster gives you hope that you’ll beat it. A great monster is unknown to you until it has already won.

  6. Solid Muldoon
    November 6, 2013 at 5:40 pm — Reply

    1: The Fouke Monster aka The Skunk Ape aka The Legend of Boggy Creek.

    When I was a kid, Bigfoot scared me more than anything, because I used to go camping a lot. Then I found out there was a bigfoot just a hundred miles from where I lived.

    I always used to tell people how much The Legend of Boggy Creek scared me as a child. Then one day I looked it up and found out the movie came out when I was 14. Way too old to be freaked out like that. But to this day, I can’t sit on a toilet with a window next to me and not fear that a giant, hairy arm is going to come crashing through it.

    2: Zombies
    3: Werewolves
    4: Dinosaurs
    5: “Mommy needn’t know”

  7. Solid Muldoon
    November 6, 2013 at 5:55 pm — Reply

    I should explain my #5. In an issue of Swamp Thing (the one talked about in this episode) a monster would appear to children as The Thing They Feared the Most. One child saw him as a mean man in overalls saying, ” Mommy needn’t know.” It took me a minute to get it, but when I did, it chilled me to my core. Hands down, the scariest, creepiest thing I have ever seen in a comic book.

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