One of the more memorable lines (in a good way, not like the ‘Toad struck by lightning’ bon mot) from the original X-Men movie was Cyclops’ quip about Wolverine wanting to wear yellow spandex.  Many a fan has questioned why a stealthy samurai hunter/assassin would ever choose to wear gold, but equally questionable is the reason why Havok would ever choose his hoopy headdress, or why Captain America had tiny wings on his cowl for so many years.  Fashion is something of a crapshoot anyway, and superhero fashion doubly so, judging from the sheer number of hack comedians who have made a joke about Superman and Batman’s external trunks since 1938.  Certainly, many of these issues can be written off as the peccadilloes of the characters (like Bruce Banner’s proclivity for purple stretch pants) but sometimes, you just have to wonder what was in the creators’ minds, which in turn begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) never understood cartoon Kara Zor-El’s choice to dress like a Disney princess whose outfit shrunk in the wash, asking: What superhero uniform seems least appropriate for the character who wears it?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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10 Comments

  1. September 2, 2013 at 11:51 am — Reply

    Robin: Big Red and Yellow child target, and the little green booties?
    Starfire: His lady love in a metal Bikini accenting the teens clevage and protecting little.
    Invisible Boy (Mystery Men): Only when using his power.
    Legion of Super-Heroes (Female Members): When designed by Dave Cockrum. 30th century Earth may have different standards, but their stripperific outfits will not be allowed on my daughters as teens. remember, most of those Legionairres were under 18.

  2. September 2, 2013 at 12:20 pm — Reply

    Actually, there was a rather nice explanation for Robin’s costume in one of the Bat-issues, hell if I can remember which – something about how the bright costume was Robin’s daring, carefree, “Here I am, bad guys, I laughingly mock your attempts to shoot me!’ attitude.

    But yeah. The Legion’s outfits for the women made very very little sense.

  3. September 2, 2013 at 12:41 pm — Reply

    Most people with capes, really. It works well for Superman, but with everyone else.. I think it would be a hindrance in a fight.
    Also, Deathstrokes New 52 costume. The armour looks too heavy to even walk in, much less capably fight with.

    • September 2, 2013 at 12:43 pm — Reply

      That’s Liefeld for you.

  4. Kirby
    September 2, 2013 at 1:08 pm — Reply

    As an addendum to Slappy’s, how about Cosmic Boy’s bustie he was wearing for a while?

  5. September 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm — Reply

    Huntress’ costume with the exposed midriff. It is titillating, yes, but also very careless to not armor one of your most vulnerable body parts.

  6. Oldcomicfan
    September 2, 2013 at 4:05 pm — Reply

    Red Sonia, or any of the many clones of sword and sorcery dames who prance around in chain mail bikinis (or less). Hello, the whole idea behind armor is to protect your vitals… not to leave them exposed (in more ways than one).

    • gary
      September 3, 2013 at 11:52 am — Reply

      There’s actually a pretty good in-story explanation for it. Still not very practical, but it’s better than some random costume with no story.

  7. Rob
    September 2, 2013 at 4:49 pm — Reply

    Ms Marvel, a tough, capable, ex-military and long standing Avenger. Wears a completely generic costume conveying none of that and makes her look like a stripper.

  8. Oldcomicfan
    September 3, 2013 at 5:19 am — Reply

    Underdog. Because dogs don’t wear clothes.

    sorry, couldn’t resist.

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