Sometimes, the internet is a terrible and hostile place filled with rage and venom, but other times, it’s a cool oasis from the unpleasantness of having to work 12 hours in a bunker with an undisclosed ailment.  Such was the case today, as my imaginary computery friends kept my brain-head together during what became a frustrating and light-headed shift for me.  Among the random questions that popped up during the day (many of which are repeatable in mixed and/or polite company) was a query about the life of a pirate and what it entails, which led to today’s query leaping fully formed from my brow like Athena, to wit…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is the very model of a modern major-general, with information frangible, Garanimal and winnerful, asking: If you became a pirate tomorrow and HAD to choose a pirately disfigurement, would you rather have a hook-hand or a peg-leg?


About Author

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.


  1. Without a doubt, I would take the peg leg. My knees give me enough trouble already and I would gladly give them up!

    Besides, have you ever tried mousing through the internet with a hook? Good luck double-clicking!

  2. Considering I’m already in a wheelchair, I’ll take the peg leg. Depending which foot is chopped, it might actually be an improvement.

    And I’d probably have the Gokaiger logo etched into the peg leg.

  3. Depends on whether the hook hand has multiple attachments, like you can switch it out for fork hand to eat with or toothbrush hand.

  4. Peg leg, obviously. How else am I going to make treasure Island references. If we’re talking period accurate, it’s also been pointed out that it probably has more uses that a hook. And you cut your risk of damage due to stray spring-traps by half

  5. I’d really prefer the eye patch, but if I had to pick one, I think the hook hand. A peg leg just doesn’t strike fear into your foes’ hearts.

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