Sometimes, the internet is a terrible and hostile place filled with rage and venom, but other times, it’s a cool oasis from the unpleasantness of having to work 12 hours in a bunker with an undisclosed ailment.  Such was the case today, as my imaginary computery friends kept my brain-head together during what became a frustrating and light-headed shift for me.  Among the random questions that popped up during the day (many of which are repeatable in mixed and/or polite company) was a query about the life of a pirate and what it entails, which led to today’s query leaping fully formed from my brow like Athena, to wit…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is the very model of a modern major-general, with information frangible, Garanimal and winnerful, asking: If you became a pirate tomorrow and HAD to choose a pirately disfigurement, would you rather have a hook-hand or a peg-leg?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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  1. Rob
    August 29, 2013 at 11:33 am — Reply

    Yar! I be choosing the hook, so I do. The Royal Navy’ll not be messing with me, arrr!

  2. EricJude
    August 29, 2013 at 11:33 am — Reply

    Without a doubt, I would take the peg leg. My knees give me enough trouble already and I would gladly give them up!

    Besides, have you ever tried mousing through the internet with a hook? Good luck double-clicking!

  3. August 29, 2013 at 11:37 am — Reply

    Considering I’m already in a wheelchair, I’ll take the peg leg. Depending which foot is chopped, it might actually be an improvement.

    And I’d probably have the Gokaiger logo etched into the peg leg.

  4. August 29, 2013 at 12:03 pm — Reply

    Peg leg, no question. Replacing a leg would be less of an impediment.

  5. August 29, 2013 at 1:20 pm — Reply

    Peg Leg, Left preferably. I am a musician and the hook would make that more difficult.

  6. Arbor Day
    August 29, 2013 at 2:28 pm — Reply

    Depends on whether the hook hand has multiple attachments, like you can switch it out for fork hand to eat with or toothbrush hand.

  7. gary
    August 29, 2013 at 4:15 pm — Reply

    What about missing an eye?

    Gotta go with the peg leg…

  8. August 29, 2013 at 4:44 pm — Reply

    I think a hook hand would be cool, but a peg leg makes a satisfying clunky wooden sound when you walk on it.
    So I’m conflicted.

  9. B.V.K.
    August 29, 2013 at 7:18 pm — Reply

    Peg leg, I need both hands to game. Also, who exactly is Anna Bottle?

  10. Hannah Jones
    August 29, 2013 at 8:01 pm — Reply

    Peg leg, obviously. How else am I going to make treasure Island references. If we’re talking period accurate, it’s also been pointed out that it probably has more uses that a hook. And you cut your risk of damage due to stray spring-traps by half

  11. DarkSidhe
    August 30, 2013 at 7:38 am — Reply

    I’d really prefer the eye patch, but if I had to pick one, I think the hook hand. A peg leg just doesn’t strike fear into your foes’ hearts.

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