While writing this week’s Retro Review (Watch the skies!!!), I was struck by the awesomeness of the concept of the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, a key part of the awesomeness of S.H.I.E.L.D., one of the most dynamic and impressive creations brought to life by the Avengers movie, and most shocking of all?  Created in NINETEEN SIXTY-FIVE by Lee and Kirby.  After fifty years of flying battleship awesomeness, though, we’ve lately seen a number of the beasts crash, including one apiece during Secret Invasion, Dark Reign and Siege, to prove how super-serious things are.  Given the ship’s tendency to crush small midwestern towns, it makes me wonder if perhaps Colonel Fury might be due for an upgrade, which in turn begs a query…

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) knew it was a bad idea when they gave Norman Osborn his own custom ship, asking: If you were tasked with replacing the helicarrier as vehicle/base for Nick Fury and his agents, what would you replace it with?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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18 Comments

  1. August 18, 2013 at 1:22 pm — Reply

    Provided there is accurate tech, and I do believe it exists in the Marvel U, I’d go the JLA route and give them an orbiting space station. Instead of direct site-to-site transporters, I think they would have to utilize transporter pads in various locations to get around (and to keep them from having boring stories where they could easily beam to the site of a problem), but if that were unavailable, I’m sure someone (Stark Industries maybe?) would be able to build high-speed shuttles.

    Alternately, I’d go with a base similar to the transforming Autobot cities or the Dekaranger’s Dekabase, a ground-based building that can become mobile if need be and also transform into a giant robot.

  2. Elijah Williams
    August 18, 2013 at 1:49 pm — Reply

    A giant mech, and they would become Nick Fury and the SHIELD Sentai!

    • August 18, 2013 at 1:52 pm — Reply

      Hey, we both had the same idea (sort of) again!

      I honestly think they could find a way to pull it off without it seeming out of place. After all, it isn’t like the Marvel U doesn’t have the occasional giant threat to fight off.

  3. August 18, 2013 at 2:35 pm — Reply

    Considering how much anything in the sky would tend to crash? Give Fury a version of Pym’s Infinite Mansion. It’s kinda perfect for secret agents.. a house with infinite doors that can open out into anywhere. And no chance of crashing!

    • August 18, 2013 at 5:46 pm — Reply

      Y’know, the helicarrier didn’t crash for over 20 years…

  4. B.V.K.
    August 18, 2013 at 8:14 pm — Reply

    There seem to be multiple alien races with Star Destroyer stylized ships, can’t the Guardians of the Galaxy or Nova find/steal a few for Earth? At least they wouldn’t be relying on propeller like technology anymore.

  5. August 18, 2013 at 8:25 pm — Reply

    I’d love to see it based out of Fury’s mum’s basement.

  6. gary
    August 18, 2013 at 8:51 pm — Reply

    The Bat Cave

  7. August 18, 2013 at 9:53 pm — Reply

    Apparently something with the word awesomeness in it.

  8. August 19, 2013 at 1:41 am — Reply

    How about a building? Just a nice, high tech building. Seriously, you can’t crash a building onto a town unless you got VERY bad planning. You want it to be able to move? Okay well why not let it land on the ground in a pre-determined area and sort of lock in like a building? Point is, keep it land locked when you’re not effing using it to fly!
    Wait, doesn’t that thing double as a boat? Why do they never have it in the ocean? Do they enjoy just wasting gas like that? o.O

  9. Oldcomicfan
    August 19, 2013 at 7:43 am — Reply

    A stealth aircraft carrier. Since it carries lots of planes, the damned thing wouldn’t need to fly itself. Giant airplanes have been a stable in the fantasy genre since the 1920s. I remember seeing a drawing done in the 30s of a giant airplane whose upper wing was an aircraft carrier for normal sized planes. Howard Hughes’ Spruce Goose was an actual attempt to build and fly one. I suspect the Helicarrier harkened back to these early fantasy stories and illustrations. Sure, it’s a cool concept, but it’s about as practical as a wagon with triangular wheels.

  10. August 19, 2013 at 9:39 am — Reply

    A 1977 Black and Gold Pontiac Firebird Trans Am and a 16-wheeler.

  11. Rome
    August 19, 2013 at 11:28 am — Reply

    A dirigible. That’s right! I want a S.H.I.E.L.D. zeppelin.

    No POSSIBLE way that could ever crash.

  12. August 19, 2013 at 12:35 pm — Reply

    Transformers used to be Marvel so I think the Helicarrier should be replaced with Metroplex.

  13. kaptaran
    August 19, 2013 at 12:40 pm — Reply

    Since at least every 3rd building in any given community is actually a front for SHIELD or a secret weapons cache for Nick Fury personally, I think the helicarrier is fine.

    Heck, I bet he has built those caches solely to provide the helicarrier a place to crash.

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