Recently, I’ve found myself in possession of a bit of free time (a rarity in itself), allowing me to consume some new comics, catch up on some television, and, thanks to the power of storyline synchronicity, ruminate on the pitfalls of fictional romance.  It seems that many of the couples that I end up rooting for always end up utterly doomed, usually because one or both of the characters are just plain nuts.  Even the beloved pairings of my youth aren’t immune to this feeling, as recent ‘Zach On Film’ research reminded me that Claire and Bender’s iconic romance probably wouldn’t make it through the entirely of his extra detention sessions.  Buffy’s interactions with Spike were doomed on BOTH sides of the equation, and even my beloved Victoria couldn’t make it work with the giant pretentious turbo-douche that is Ted Moseby (although he does get a little credit for growing up to be Bob Saget.)

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) remembers the time that Tony Stark’s armor flipped out and turned into basically an abusive boyfriend, asking:  What otherwise attractive pop-culture character would make the worst romantic partner?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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11 Comments

  1. SmarkingOut Adam
    April 17, 2013 at 12:41 pm — Reply

    Rogue. Yeah, she has control of her powers now, but she never seems to have complete control of her personality for long, meaning that you might not want her to have control of her powers after all.

    • SmarkingOut Adam
      April 17, 2013 at 12:43 pm — Reply

      On another X-Men note, any telepath is a terrifying prospect, so put Emma Frost and Jean Grey on the list.

  2. April 17, 2013 at 12:48 pm — Reply

    Number Six from Battlestar Galactica.

  3. Hannah
    April 17, 2013 at 1:03 pm — Reply

    The Doctor. Handsome, wildly intelligent, full of adventure and charming to boot, and yet it’s never going to work out.. I think that between Martha, Rose, and Jack all that’s been satisfactorily explained. Not to mention that Who villains don’t seem to have a problem with damaging the people closest to him to get at him.

    Captain Jack Harkness, for many of the same reasons.

  4. Oldcomicfan
    April 17, 2013 at 1:47 pm — Reply

    Captain Kirk, for all the obvious reasons. Who knows how many alien STDs he’d drag home. I was always a bit surprised, in that dreadful last season episode where he turns into a woman, that he didn’t try to mate with himself. Ewwww.

    • April 17, 2013 at 4:16 pm — Reply

      That fact that the eponymous Turnabout Intruder was trying to KILL him might have dampened even the mighty Kirkian libido…

  5. April 17, 2013 at 6:50 pm — Reply

    Blair from “Soul Eater” because she may look like an attractive human but is really just a cat, and I’m pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing.

    • SpiderLover
      April 17, 2013 at 11:31 pm — Reply

      I just remembered that Anime, great point.

  6. dude x
    April 17, 2013 at 9:18 pm — Reply

    Nancy Botwin from Weeds. You could have a one-night stand, but if you marry her, you’ll end up dead.

  7. April 18, 2013 at 3:07 am — Reply

    Black Widow, She’s called that for a reason.

  8. Mark
    April 18, 2013 at 3:56 am — Reply

    anyone called Archer in Archer or Star trek Or Face off
    Heck any one called archer in any media

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