During a recent evening of television, the Widget and I took in an episode of Transformers, during which she asked me which ones were the Democrats and which the Aristocats.  This was quite possibly the funniest thing I had heard all day (and, it should be noted, that this was a day during which I burped while using voice text and laughed for half an hour as my Android dutifully spelled out “burp” in my tweet.)  These sort of malapropisms have been the bread and butter of many public figures from Yogi Berry (who famously remarked that “I really didn’t say most of the things I said”) to Ringo Starr, whose misappropriation of language led to one of the most famous songs in rock history, ‘A Hard Day’s Night.’

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) once saw an allegory on the banks of The Nile, which apparently IS just a river in Egypt, which makes this deja vu all over again, asking: What’s the most awesome and/or ridiculous slip of the tongue you’ve ever made/heard?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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9 Comments

  1. Robert Range
    March 24, 2013 at 3:03 pm — Reply

    When I met my wife, I had to explain to her that the expression is NOT “raped me over the coals.” …

  2. SmarkingOut Adam
    March 24, 2013 at 3:06 pm — Reply

    I worked at a grocery store as a manager for a number of years. I saw a lot of shoplifting. At one point, I saw a guy take some steaks and hide them in his clothing. My response was to wait until he got to the front of the store and say (unfortunately so that several other people heard me), “Sir, I need to see the meat in your pants.” I ended up letting him go.

  3. March 24, 2013 at 3:20 pm — Reply

    Wizards and Lobsters. (Soda and Starbursts)

    I am reaching into the ‘fridge to grab a soda and only one is left, “I’m gonna take the last wizard. . . soda”

    My friend Greg has a package of starburst spread across the table when it’s time to leave, “Lemme pick up my lobsters and we can go.” Proceeds to pocket all candy and leave as if nothing said was strange.

  4. March 24, 2013 at 5:17 pm — Reply

    Less a slip of the tongue and more of a badly (or perfectly) timed bit of text, but shortly after I met my best online friend, she was mentioning a quest in SWG that she was going to do that night. I went to say “Do you need a hand?”, but just before I hit enter, she said “I’m going to take a shower”.

    To this day, she will not let me live it down.

  5. Ron
    March 24, 2013 at 6:08 pm — Reply

    At the end of a weekend get-together, I tried to make nice-nice with the rather trying spouse of a friend by quoting the line from the Wizard of Oz, “I will miss you most of all…” Except that the line came out, ” I will miss you least of all!” Thankfully, she thought I was being cute and let it slide.

  6. March 25, 2013 at 8:12 am — Reply

    While working at the Fox affiliate in Denver we had a really good one on air.

    Just prior to a break we did a short piece about the latest Powerball winner who’d won $250 Million. The final line of the piece quoted the man as saying one of the things he’d buy with his new money was a Hummer.

    In the ad lib bit just before break the female anchor says, ‘WIth 250 Million, he can get all the hummers he wants.’ Pause. Male anchor loses it, floor crew loses it, control room loses it. Female anchor – blank stare. Roll break.

  7. Landle
    March 25, 2013 at 8:24 am — Reply

    My roommate (and one of my best friends) in college went on to enter the seminary and become an ordained priest. When I proposed to my wife, we both thought that it would be an honor for us if he performed the ceremony at our wedding. Thus, I promptly called him and asked “Father Nick will you marry me?”

  8. dante_marx
    March 25, 2013 at 10:44 am — Reply

    I presume you all are familiar with the phrase, “Assuming makes an ass out of you and me”? Well, in undergrad I had a fairly bombastic friend, and I intentionally misquoted the phrase as “Assuming makes an ass out of you,” to which he promptly, and loudly, added, “And me!” Everyone around broke into laughter. I still chuckle about that one.

  9. RAM_evilspaceknight
    March 25, 2013 at 11:40 am — Reply

    I always liked the definition of a Freudian slip. You know, when you say one thing and mean a mother.

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