…Major Spoilers Flying Query!  *fanfare*  With the latest episode of Critical Hit still haunting our collective consciousness, I thought I might try and turn our thoughts to a more pleasant bit of gaming minutiae.  Throughout the many years that I’ve been roleplaying, throughout many different games and gaming systems, there have been a few utterly unbreakable rules:

* Don’t call the game-master a “scuzzbag.”
* Don’t attack your party (unless you’re sure you’ll win.)
* Never give Tiltowait the money.
* Most important of all, never EVER reference Monty Python unless you’re ready for the entire game to devolve into a sea of “NI!” and “I got better!”, derailing any and all questions of game-play into a quagmire of Chapman and company.

The hysterical virulence of a single Monty Python quote puts the plague in ’28 Days Later’ to shame, and one utterance of “DINSDAAALE!” can break up not only the drama, but the game itself (and, in one unfortunate situation in the late ’90s, a marriage.)  Still, there’s something wonderful about the absurdity of the Pythons’ work, and sooner or later, even the Rodrigo has been known to throw in the errant “WITH A HERRING!” here and there, and you have to appreciate that a 45-year-old sketch program has such lasting impact on our nerdly vernacular.

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) thinks we should get it all out of our system and forget the horrible events in the Feywild, asking:  What’s your favorite bit of Monty Python ridiculousness?*

*(For those not familiar with Python, I will also accept ‘The Kids In The Hall,’ ‘The Young Ones’ or ‘The State.’  BUT NO RED DWARF.  We have to have SOME standards…)

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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  1. February 23, 2013 at 11:42 am — Reply

    Always look on the bright side of life! Doot doo, doot do doot do doot!

    • February 23, 2013 at 11:43 am — Reply


      • Xaxelbrax
        February 23, 2013 at 1:04 pm — Reply

        Always look on the bright side of death.
        Just before you draw your terminal breath.

  2. @str8edg
    February 23, 2013 at 11:43 am — Reply

    I was going to post… but your obvious disregard for Red Dwarf even after the recent 25 year anniversary sickens me…. “know what I mean?”

    • February 23, 2013 at 11:59 am — Reply

      If Red Dwarf got respect, it wouldn’t be Red Dwarf. Thus, I’m merely honoring the spirit of the show.

      • @str8edg
        February 23, 2013 at 1:10 pm — Reply

        Right, so what you are saying is you think Red Dwarf is good… And into photography… “Know what I mean? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge”

        • @str8edg
          February 23, 2013 at 4:11 pm — Reply

          So, is she into sports?

          Know what I mean, know what I mean?

          Say no more, say no more!

          A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat

  3. February 23, 2013 at 12:42 pm — Reply


  4. Teflonknight
    February 23, 2013 at 1:09 pm — Reply

    ” I’m being oppressed…”

  5. Xaxelbrax
    February 23, 2013 at 1:10 pm — Reply

    “Not dead yet.” That line always seems to creep it’s way into every RPG I play and not always by me.

  6. Robert Hulshof-Schmidt
    February 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm — Reply

    “Oh, intercourse the pen-gu-in!”
    There are dozens, of course, but this is one my brother and I adopted and rarely hear outside the family.

  7. @str8edg
    February 23, 2013 at 1:40 pm — Reply


  8. February 23, 2013 at 2:40 pm — Reply



  9. Hannah
    February 23, 2013 at 3:39 pm — Reply

    “I can’t tell the difference between Whizzo butter-spread and this dead crab,” and the perrenial, “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

    Hell’s Grannies is pretty brilliant as well.
    Oh and that one where they went to ask Rene Descarte about the meaning behind his work. Grown men in skirts using high voices and speaking terrible French… C’est Bon!

    • February 23, 2013 at 6:51 pm — Reply

      Whizzo Butter comes up around here as a reference, too.

  10. B.V.K.
    February 23, 2013 at 4:46 pm — Reply

    “I fart in your general direction!” Maybe not the funniest part, but growing up with brothers it was the most used and accurate line.

  11. AED
    February 23, 2013 at 5:32 pm — Reply

    Hands down…the virgins needing spanked. To this day I long to find that castle. And no I would most certainly not need rescued!

  12. Gary
    February 23, 2013 at 6:22 pm — Reply

    Ministry of silly walks

    • J_Michael_T
      February 24, 2013 at 11:40 am — Reply

      Mi kids favorite!

  13. @str8edg
    February 23, 2013 at 6:25 pm — Reply

    All I see here is spam, spam, spam and spam

  14. February 23, 2013 at 6:49 pm — Reply

    “And for the rest of you, there’s sports.” I bust this one out many fall weekends.

  15. GeorgeDubya
    February 23, 2013 at 8:27 pm — Reply

    What’s that on the telly?

  16. February 23, 2013 at 9:13 pm — Reply

    My brothers and I break out in to the Spam bit whenever we get together. I can no longer remember what originally started it, but it has become a ritual with us.

    But my favorite bit is “Nudge nudge”.

  17. February 23, 2013 at 9:19 pm — Reply

    Other than a myriad of Holy Grail lines, the one that gets used most in my house is variations on “Sheep are very dim. And once they get an idea in their heads, there’s no shifting it,” from the Flying Sheep sketch on Flying Circus. We call the dog a “flying sheep” a lot, as well as anyone who persistently does something dumb or self-defeating.

  18. Rob
    February 24, 2013 at 3:46 am — Reply

    Ahhh, Kids In The Halls, we hardly new ye. “I crusha your head!”

  19. February 24, 2013 at 3:58 am — Reply

    “What is your quest?” gets quite a bit of use when I gather round the role-playing table with my friends.

  20. Cameron
    February 24, 2013 at 4:43 am — Reply

    “No no, no. It’s spelled ‘Raymond Luxury Yacht’, but it’s pronounced ‘Throat-Wobbler Mangrove.'”

    • Robert Hulshof-Schmidt
      February 24, 2013 at 10:21 am — Reply

      “That’s not even a proper nose. It’s polystyrene!”

    • Robert Hulshof-Schmidt
      February 24, 2013 at 10:22 am — Reply

      Somehow this grand flow of Pythonic goodness reminded me of another old staple: “But it’s my only line!”

  21. Nick S.
    February 24, 2013 at 7:16 am — Reply

    I can’t remember the name of the bit, but I love the sketch in which Eric Idle’s character tells his poet father (Graham Chapman) that he wants to be a coal miner.

    • Nick S.
      February 24, 2013 at 7:35 am — Reply

      Also, “Tungsten carbide drills?!” gets a disproportionate amount of play.

      • J_Michael_T
        February 24, 2013 at 11:42 am — Reply

        That’s an awesome ‘bit’!

  22. Frank
    February 24, 2013 at 8:31 am — Reply

    A moose once bit my sister. (it is buried in the text the beginning credits)

  23. LemmyCaution
    February 24, 2013 at 8:41 am — Reply

    Monty Python’s Sam Peckinpah’s “Salad Days”

  24. J_Michael_T
    February 24, 2013 at 11:43 am — Reply

    M: An argument isn’t just contradiction.
    A: It can be.
    M: No it can’t. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
    A: No it isn’t.
    M: Yes it is! It’s not just contradiction.
    A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
    M: Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘No it isn’t.’
    A: Yes it is!
    M: No it isn’t!

  25. ArcticPhoenix
    February 24, 2013 at 12:05 pm — Reply

    The Twit of the Year competition.

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