Top Five #033: Scariest Animals

Top Five is a show where the hosts categorize, rank, compare, and stratify everything‚Ķ from cars to gadgets to people and movies. From stuff that is hot, and things that are not nearly as interesting – it’s Top Five.

They are creepy and they’re crawly! They are some of the scariest animals we have ever seen!


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Robot Overlord

Robot Overlord

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Robot Overlord. Robot Overlord may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. The Robot Overlord contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. If Robot Overlord begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Do not taunt the Robot Overlord.

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  1. December 4, 2012 at 10:31 am — Reply

    1. Wolf Spider
    2. Corn Spider
    3. Brown Recluse Spider
    4. Black Widow Spider
    5. All other Spiders, which are unnatural hell-beasts that move like robots without souls.

    I almost had to turn this podcast off. Every breeze, or brush against my skin had me brushing myself off. I will be squicked out all day. Overcome with the Heebie Jeebies. Thanks guys. On the other hand, the Tarantula Hawk may now be my FAVORITE animal!

  2. UberFab
    December 4, 2012 at 12:24 pm — Reply

    What happened to Top Five #32? Was it eaten by

  3. Justin
    December 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm — Reply

    I literally went to bed last night saying “Man, it has been a while since a Top 5 has dropped.”.

    How long have you been watching me?!?

  4. Jason
    December 5, 2012 at 1:04 am — Reply
  5. Christina
    December 5, 2012 at 7:08 am — Reply

    Note to Matthew: Angler fish live in the dark depth of the sea. So, angler fish probably don’t live on Aquaman’s porch- they live in the dark depths of his CELLARS! waiting in the dark TO EAT US ALL *evil laugh*

  6. Dan
    December 5, 2012 at 10:09 am — Reply

    ATTN: YOUNG ZACH, i’m pretty sure you’ve heard of that movie “The Bay” coming soon, but if you haven’t, consider yourself warned:

    Basically it looks like Jaws, but with those tongue-eating lice attacking people and somehow controlling people like kill-crazy meat puppets.

  7. justanothergeek
    December 5, 2012 at 12:42 pm — Reply

    Interesting fact about the Moray Eel that you didn’t mention, these animals have something called “pharyngeal jaws”, they literally have a second set of jaws inside their mouths with teeth and everything like a Xenomorth from Aliens.

  8. Dr.chuck
    December 5, 2012 at 8:44 pm — Reply

    1. Bed bugs.
    2.mathew, because he will break you down with a long story before he attacks.
    3. Rodrigo, nobody knows if he’s hiding something under his beard.
    4. Steven, collage professors scare me.
    5. Zach, after he hits puberty he might climb up the list a bit.

  9. Dave
    December 6, 2012 at 7:49 am — Reply

    Ah, the mating habits of the angler fish.

    Eeeeeyyyaaaaagh *shudder*

  10. Zac
    December 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm — Reply

    There are few animals that actually frighten me so I’m only gonna give a couple things:

    #1: The sting ray. I’m sure someone already guessed why. These devil beasts killed Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. If they can kill him with one blow imagine what they would do to anyone else.
    #2 The black widow. scary looking, yet beautiful. I walked into a friend’s shed to get something once, and almost walked right into one dangling at about my eye level.freaked me out and still not over it.
    #3 Brown recluse. necrotic venom. oh god!

  11. December 10, 2012 at 11:48 pm — Reply

    Dear Matthew:
    At all cost, please avoid the Mutillidae, or velvet ant. The folks here in south Georgia call them cow-killers because their stings are so painful. Take a wasp and upgrade their wings to armor. These things are the tarrasque of the insect world. Unkillable. I witnessed one take a point blank bb gun shot as a child. Then it chewed the bb up and spit it back like Weird Al in the Rambo parody in UHF.

    Also, consider the rattlesnake. You rarely see them until after you have heard their rattle, much like that sound that precedes Jason Vorhees.

  12. Thorfinn
    December 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm — Reply

    1. Flying Sharks! The only way to make anything worse, is to add lasers to the sharks. There are Great White Sharks shoot out of the water after trying to catch seals off the coast of South Africa. Check out “Air Jaws” or Planet Earth for great footage.

  13. Damascus
    December 20, 2012 at 2:24 am — Reply

    This is the creature of my nightmares.
    A bat eating centipede. There are other horrible monstrosities out there, but for some reason this bothers me worse than most.

  14. Kevros
    March 25, 2013 at 1:44 am — Reply

    Google this!
    Cyclocosmia truncata, they burry themselves and leave only the butt, so we might think its a cool coin…..T_T

  15. Chino Devine
    June 24, 2013 at 11:05 am — Reply

    If you wanna know something scary, check out the REAL mutant turtle: the mata mata is friggin’ terrifying. Obvious ones are camel spiders and such, also shaved bears…straight up fallout 3 craziness


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