If Young Zack learns only one thing from me here at Major Spoilers (and heaven help us, it looks like that is a very real possibility) it should be three simple words: Respect the classics.  There are those who spend their time finding ways to tear down that which other people love, and it only diminishes the grandeur of our pop cultural legacies.  They say that Elvis Presley became a walking parody of himself in his waning years, but even as a parody, the man made millions of people happy, sang his guts out and seemed to love doing it.

Even the jumpsuits that he reputedly adopted to hide his middle-aged weight gain have become a cottage industry unto themselves, and I could walk out my door and buy one RIGHT NOW in my size, and even have my choice of colors!  (For those planning Christmas lists, I prefer the red, with the vaguely Asian dragon motif.)  Changing times and changing tastes have all but guaranteed that nothing like Elvis (or The Beatles or the M*A*S*H* finale or Walter Cronkite fighting back tears at the updates from Dallas) will ever happen again.  Luckily, here at Stately Spoilers Manor, we don’t deal in reality.

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) once appeared on the Ed Sullivan show, but only from the waist down, asking: If you could choose ONE THING in pop culture to be a universally remembered, iconic household word that everyone recognizes, what would it be?

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Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture! And a nice red uniform.

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