Recent news out of the House of Ideas implies that Ultimate Captain America is going to be successfully elected as a write-in candidate for President of the United States of Ultimerica.  Leaving aside discussion of whether Ultimate Cap is a juvenile-wish-fullfillment-idea-of-the-military, jingoistic, sloganeering, aggressively confrontational jackwagon (which he unequivocally is, thank you) or the legality of such a bid (I suppose he is an American citizen over the age of 35) there are other unspoken issues at play.  Ulticap has been shown to be somewhat skilled in the role of field leader, but what real expectations could we have of a Steve Rogers presidency?  Ultimate Steve Rogers is a man who has been demonstrated to have the same response to nearly any stimulus (Threat of violence?  Shieldinnaface!  Iron Man too big for britches? Shieldinnaface!  You’ve got diptheria?  Shieldinnaface!) who has been shown to have no patience for opposing viewpoints, and who has demonstrated a disturbing tendency towards borderline sadistic behavior, exemplified by his penchant for literally kicking enemies when they’re down.

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) doesn’t know anything about NASCAR or YouTube videos, either, asking: Is there ANY superhuman who you might trust as your commander-in-chief?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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19 Comments

  1. September 22, 2012 at 11:06 am — Reply

    Franklin Richards… because if Matthew’s right, and Franklin is god, then we have no choice anyway?

  2. September 22, 2012 at 11:26 am — Reply

    I’ll state the obvious, but Superman. He uses great power to help others, and wouldn’t want the position.

  3. Michael
    September 22, 2012 at 11:29 am — Reply

    Captain Marvel (DC Version) before he had to take over for the Wizard at the Rock Of Eternity. Wisdom Of Solomon and all that.

  4. Verse
    September 22, 2012 at 12:54 pm — Reply

    Batman… everything is better with Batman.

  5. B.V.K.
    September 22, 2012 at 1:32 pm — Reply

    Tony Stark, the ultimate capitalist to fix our economic crisis. To quote Iron Man 2 “I did ya a big favor and privatized national defense.” Think of all the extra money saved from national defense spending we could put into entitlements so the hippies would stop crying.

    As far as Ult Cap goes shaddup, you think that A on his helmet stands for France?!

    • B.V.K.
      September 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm — Reply

      Oh, and if sadism is kicking someone when they are down, never watch a UFC ppv.

      • September 22, 2012 at 6:06 pm — Reply

        Oh, no worries there. The UFC that I’ve watched is brutal and inelegant compared to the scripted and rehearsed antics of WWE. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather watch two guys working hard to deliver entertainment while doing their best NOT to hurt each other. I can’t even stand to watch a New Jack match…

        • B.V.K.
          September 23, 2012 at 11:04 pm — Reply

          Brock Lesnar and Lashley may disagree.

  6. September 22, 2012 at 2:47 pm — Reply

    I’d trust Mitchell Hundred!

    But sticking to Marvel/DC, I think I would trust Alan Scott more than anyone. Decent, upstanding, strong moral compass. Thinks very hard about the implications of using power in any situation. And, hey, successful businessman! (Although a media executive becoming President has all sorts of trust issues, Alan’s sheer goodness would make it a moot point.)

    Other options would probably be: Barry Allen (again, just a very decent guy), Superman, and John Stewart.

    A note for least trustworthy: probably Icon. A guy who would stick with the Republican party for over a hundred years, simply because he supported them when they were created, and not taking into account the way the party completely changed its ideology over that time period? I think that shows a distinct political disengagement that I would not favor in a candidate.

  7. Slappy
    September 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm — Reply

    G. Gordon Godfrey seems trustworthy.
    I also like Harold Saxon. I don’t know what it is about him, but I would vote for him.
    Zebediah Killgrave is another one who seems to have it together in the perfect package.

  8. Shush
    September 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm — Reply

    Peter Parker – “With great power comes great responsibility.” I don’t know if he would make a -great- president, or even a good one, but I would at least trust him.

    Matt Murdock – He at least has a law degree. Actually having in depth knowledge of the ins and outs of the legal system is kinda reassuring.

    Jay Garrett – He’s thought long and hard about all sorts of things and can get a lot done in a day.

    Doctor Doom! – He really just wants to prove his superiority and be in charge, so if he is already in charge, he’ll just go about fixing things and ridiculing the opposition for being stupid and explaining how once again that he is a genius. (However, he is not technically eligible.)

    Batman – Because, why not? I kinda like the idea that he would go around fighting crime with a secretary in tow and fulfill his duties of office while punching mooks and then giving himself presidential pardons.

    Undead Zombie Abraham Lincoln – He -will- unite the country again.

    Time Travelling Teddy Rooselvelt – He’s already been there, done that.

  9. September 22, 2012 at 9:48 pm — Reply

    Hank Pym. He is a man who has made mistakes in his past, and is constantly reminded of that. He knows he is not infallible, he would tread carefully and carefully weigh each option. And most of all he would listen to others, really try and seek help from people who may know better than he does. That is what we need most in a President, not someone who is headstrong and always believes he is correct, but someone who is willing to compromise and listen to all sides.

  10. September 22, 2012 at 9:50 pm — Reply

    If we could alter the rules to allow those not born on American soil, Kilowog. He’s shaped many GL in training, so I think he could deal with running a simple country for a few years. It isn’t like he’d have to run the whole planet or anything. He’d probably get things running a bit more smoothly too.

  11. Hirimno
    September 22, 2012 at 10:15 pm — Reply

    Wolverine!!! Not really, just kidding. But really, no “superhuman” comes to mind. The only people tangential to a superhuman I could think of are Jim Gordon and Robo. There’s just somethin about the commish that I just really like and trust. As for Robo, who wouldn’t trust a super-smart automatic robot?

  12. Arbor Day
    September 22, 2012 at 11:02 pm — Reply

    Jennifer Walters, Matt Murdock, or Pre-Flashpoint Barbra Gordon.

  13. ArcticPhoenix
    September 23, 2012 at 3:10 am — Reply

    Hmm… well Adrian Veidt would have a very business like approach to government, i cannot recall if hes american though…

  14. Luis Dantas
    September 23, 2012 at 8:23 am — Reply

    Why, there are lots. But a fascist that dresses in a flag is most certainly not among them.

    Give me Sam Wilson anytime, instead. Or Hank Pym.

  15. September 23, 2012 at 2:17 pm — Reply

    Anyone think the 616 Captain America is the more obvious choice? At the very least, he probably won’t insult France like his Ultimate counterpart.

  16. Roy Batty
    September 23, 2012 at 10:36 pm — Reply

    Captain Carrot and his amazing Zoo Cabinet !!
    The government that governs best, governs leach…

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