Nothing is more powerful than a young boy’s wish, and when John Bennett makes a wish for his teddy bear to come to life, he gets more than anyone expected. Major Spoilers takes a look at Ted, Seth MacFarlane’s first major motion picture.

Director: Seth MacFarlane
Writers: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild.
John Bennett: Mark Wahlberg
Lori Collins: Mila Kunis
Ted: Seth MacFarlane
REx: Joel McHale
Donny: Giovani Ribisi
Narrator: Patrick Stewart

Previously in Seth MacFarlane’s world:   Crude Peter Griffin has a talking pet dog. Now Marky Mark has a crude living teddy bear, who sounds suspiciously like Peter Griffin.

Young and unpopular John Bennet makes a wish on Christmas night that his new toy teddy bear come to life. It does. And 28 years later they are still best friends, Thunder Buddies For Life. John has been seeing Lori Collins for four years, but their relationship is about to hit a rocky patch…

There are two things you need to know about this movie. First: It is funny. Laugh out loud funny. Second: It is not as much like Family Guy as one might expect.

As I said, this is a funny movie, but there are a few different types of funny in here. There is a LOT of vulgar humour, with a metric tonne of cursing. But while it is vulgar as heck, it is incredibly funny as a result. There are also quite a lot of smart and subtle gags, with clever word play. Then there are the obvious visual gags, centred around Ted himself.

Ted looks great. He really looks like a teddy bear with life breathed in to it. The way he moves, and interacts with everything is very impressive. He is also quite haggard looking, with bald patches and the like. It is this attention to detail that keeps the ridiculous premise alive, and keeps me referring to Ted as “he” not “it”.


The rest of the cast keep the funny coming too. Whalberg is very impressive, especially given his performance is primarily against nothing. He oozes likability and charm, and is more than just the straight man in the John/Ted double team. And then there’s Kunis, who is gorgeous and utterly adorable, and made almost entirely out of Bambi eyes. Admittedly, their relationship strife is trope filled, but theirs is not the main relationship in the movie. It’s a comedy, not a romantic comedy.

There is also a lot of fun geeky stuff going on here. Aside from the customary “Oh, It’s That Guy From That Thing” cameos, the jokes and references are enough to warm any geeks heart. The Christmas morning present montage at the beginning brings me back to birthdays and Christmases of my youth. And if you don’t come away from this movie wanting to watch Flash Gordon again, then there is something awry with you.


Seth MacFarlane is, without a doubt, the star of this movie though: Starring, writing, producing and directing, and doing an admirable job at each. There is something of an 80’s feel to the movie, between the look, the soundtrack and some of the references, and it works very well. He also displays some impressive visual flourishes, and he manages the few little action scenes very well too (although that shouldn’t come as a surprise, as Family Guy’s Peter Vs Giant Chicken fights are very well staged). The only set back could be that Ted sounds too much like Peter Griffin. That said, Kunis sounds remarkably like Meg Griffin too, but before long you stop noticing and just go with it.

The movie clearly shares some similarities with Family Guy, but MacFarlane has such a unique voice and humour that it is to be expected. While there are a few echoes of Family Guy, there is enough originality to make up for it. A new joke follows hot on the heels of a familiar one, so you don’t really mind.

So…This is a funny movie. The stars do very well, as do the supporting cast and cameos. The climax is a little daft, and the boy/girl aspect of the movie has been done before, but there are so many genuinely laugh out loud moments that it trumps the recycled relationship stuff. And that is what you want from a comedy, to laugh, and in that regard this is a success. Warning though: if you’re put off by foul language and adult humour, then this may not be for you.

Rating: ★★★½☆

The Author

Cathal Ó Míocháin

Cathal Ó Míocháin

What to say...born in the last year of the seventies, the decade of the best music and movies, Cathal's earliest memories are of movies and comics. Star Wars, Batman, Superman and Indiana Jones filled his childhood, and not a whole lot has changed. He lives in Dublin, with his supremely understanding wife. Cathal voice his opinions across the various corners of The IntarWebs: @CatHaloMovies on The Twitter; Cat Halo Movies on The FaceSpace; and on the Major Spoilers Forum, where all manner of opinions are aired by all manner of folk on a wide variety of topics.

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  1. Raistlin Majere
    August 12, 2012 at 8:42 pm — Reply

    Nice job Cat! Looking forward to more movie reviews from you in the future on MS.

  2. Navarre
    August 13, 2012 at 8:43 am — Reply

    Thanks you the review, Cat!

    I have been on the fence about seeing this movie, but your review is pushing me toward the “Go see it” side.

    If I don’t laugh though, you’ll refund my movie ticket right? ;-)

    • August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm — Reply

      I will refund you… when you get to Dublin :)

      • dantemarx
        August 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm — Reply

        Hey Cat, If I don’t really dig family guy, would you say to skip Ted?

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