Being on the ultimate cutting edge of pop culture, I discovered last night that there has been some sort of sporting event on television for the last few days, involving hopping about and leaping off stuff and possibly special necklaces.  For a little while, I suspected it was a new season of Super Sentai, but the Brazilian volleyball players didn’t really fit that paradigm.  But this errant thought led to my wondering how Gokai Green might do on uneven bars (which, frankly, is the kind of thought process that kept me out of the really good schools) and whether he has enough chutzpah to outdo Gabby Douglas.

The MS-QOTD (pronounced, as always, “misquoted”) is not at all impressed with Barry Allen, asking:
What fictional character would you send to the real Summer Games, and in what event would you enter them?

The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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16 Comments

  1. August 12, 2012 at 11:43 am — Reply

    Batman in everything, because he would win. Plus, the Olympics are much better with Batman…

  2. Llucky
    August 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm — Reply

    Spider-Man : floor exercises. Aquaman : swimming (duh). Superman in everything else. Batman just judges… harshly.

    • August 13, 2012 at 10:23 am — Reply

      I’d put Spider-Man on the hangy ring thingies…

  3. Ricco
    August 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm — Reply

    This brings up a question I asked myself not long ago, how do the Olympics work in the Marvel and DC universe?

    Is there some ridiculous amount of testing going on for athletes or is it a honor system type deal?

    As for who should participate I though about girls volleyball and my mind has yet to return to any type of functionality…

    • August 12, 2012 at 8:39 pm — Reply

      I would think they’d have a rigorous screening process to make sure no one mutant or metahuman powers snuck in. Although then again, they’d probably invent some kind of superpowered weight class for many of their events just so those athletes with powers don’t feel left out.

  4. wdchefdave
    August 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm — Reply

    Captain America in everything.
    He could beat Batman due to the super serum stuff.
    But, Beast in any gymnastics contest would be cool too!

    • ray
      August 12, 2012 at 10:48 pm — Reply

      Captain America uses performance enhancing drugs. He’d be sent home.

  5. Thomas
    August 12, 2012 at 5:07 pm — Reply

    Black Cat, Emma Frost, Power Girl, Wonder Women and Starfire as the New Fab Five for Trampoline!!! ^_^

    • Thomas
      August 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm — Reply

      Yes, Trampoline is an Olympic sport as part of gymnastic.

  6. B.V.K.
    August 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm — Reply

    Flash = Track
    Aquaman = Swimming
    Nightcrawler = Gymnastics
    Batman = Judo
    Zhangeif = Wrestling
    Wolverine = Boxing (power on the inside and can’t be KO’d means furry Mike Tyson)
    Black Cat = Floor Exercise
    Avengers = Basketball
    Any female from a Zenescope title = Womens Volleyball

    • Ricco
      August 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm — Reply

      I would put Judomaster on Judo, but I’m just weird like that :)

    • Raistlin Majere
      August 12, 2012 at 8:45 pm — Reply

      Wow…these choices are fantastic ;P

  7. Gehrigan
    August 12, 2012 at 6:49 pm — Reply

    Powergirl and Huntress on volleyball (oh my)
    Nightwing on gymnastics
    Hercules on wrestling
    Captain America on discus
    Thor on hammer throw
    Namor on high dive
    Hawkeye on archery
    Punisher on shooting
    Batroc on hurdles
    Emma frost on ribbons

  8. Frank
    August 12, 2012 at 8:29 pm — Reply

    Tarzan in the decathlon and pentathlon, archery. He might give Batman a run for the money in some events.

  9. Zachariah
    August 12, 2012 at 9:42 pm — Reply

    Smeagol in wrestling, but he will probably get disqualified for biting.
    Multiple Man for synchronized swimming.
    Flash for the pole vault.
    Peter Pan for fencing.

  10. johnny
    August 12, 2012 at 10:23 pm — Reply

    Atlas from Thunderbolts, Giant Man, Black Goliath, Apache Chief, and the Spectacular Stilt-Man as your starting five on the next Dream Team!

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