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Robot Overlord

Robot Overlord

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Robot Overlord. Robot Overlord may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. The Robot Overlord contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. If Robot Overlord begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Do not taunt the Robot Overlord.

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27 Comments

  1. Georgedubya
    August 7, 2012 at 11:54 am — Reply

    I think the simple answer here is “Dobby has magic, thus Dobby wins.”

    • B.V.K.
      August 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm — Reply

      Gollum if he has the ring. He could be all stealthy and invisible then give Dobby a knife to the eye.

      • Georgedubya
        August 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm — Reply

        Dobby can also teleport and use telekinetic powers. Even if Gollum has the ring, I’m not seeing him as being a real threat to Dobby.

    • August 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm — Reply

      I agree. Unless Gollum is able to get up close. I assume Gollum doesn’t have the ring in the fight, as well.

  2. Russ Catt
    August 7, 2012 at 11:55 am — Reply

    Poorly defined/delimited magic powers will trump calculated avarice every time. Go Dobby!

  3. James Winston
    August 7, 2012 at 12:13 pm — Reply

    Dobbys got this. Smeagol would give him a run for his money if he had the ring but with out it the Dobbster would force feed him his own loincloth.

  4. August 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm — Reply

    Smeagol gets my vote. The reason is simple. Gollum kicks ass. Dobby does not. In the words of Gollum himself “Dobby’s a fag”. Dobby may have a bit of magic, but while he’s deliberating over whether or not to use it, and going on about how Harry Potter is his friend, Gollum would bite, scratch and claw until Dobby was no more.

  5. Slappy
    August 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm — Reply

    Dobby is sly, just look at how he deals with the Wizards in book 7 specifically. His magic in many ways is more powerful than most wizards as well, with the ability to ignore many of teir spells.
    The only thing keeping the elves as slaves is their own feeling of self worth rather, a self imposed spell rather than slave master and a feeling of loyalty to their family/ master.

  6. Justin Wawrzonek
    August 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm — Reply

    I’d go with Dobby. Smeagol is just a malformed Hobbit type person with a split personality. Dobby can use magic.

  7. JoeM
    August 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm — Reply

    I’ll go with Dobby. For one thing, in a straight up fight Smeagol would just give up and beg for mercy. The only way he’d have a chance would be to sneak up on Dobby in the dark and try to strangle him. And even at that he’s probably fail.

  8. Alexander D.
    August 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm — Reply

    My vote goes to Dobby. While Gollum has shown the ability to scale walls and a twisted personality that could lull Dobby into a false sense of security, as soon as Gollum goes to choke the house elf he would just as soon disappear, then reappear to fling Gollum around the room as a rag doll. The magic aspect of Dobby clearly decides the battle.

  9. Arbor Day
    August 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm — Reply

    Just to ruin all ya’lls brains, there’s probably people out there shipping these two as a couple. Like Dollum or Gobby.

    • Georgedubya
      August 7, 2012 at 5:11 pm — Reply

      … I’m wishing bodily harm on you right now… Very uncool man. My brain is already fairly messed up, why did you have to do that?

    • August 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm — Reply

      I’ve seen more disturbing than that (because I have WAY too much free time on my hands).

  10. Brian
    August 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm — Reply

    I’ve got to go with Gollum due to the split personality. Dobby never came across as particularly violent, while; SPOILERS for 50+ year book, Gollum bites the ring off Frodo with the finger attached. Dobby would see Smeagol and see another House Elf. Gollum would then treat Dobby to some birthday friendliness.

    • Slappy
      August 8, 2012 at 3:34 pm — Reply

      Dobby has put fear into Malfoy as well as other for trying to mess with his friend Harry Potter. Don’t fuck with an elf.

  11. Ryan 'Halite' King
    August 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm — Reply

    1v1 Direct Matchup, Gollum cowers and asks for forgiveness, something Dobby is sure to give him because of his own history of being redeemed

    Then Gollum sneaks in at night and strangles Dobby in his sleep. Easy.

  12. August 7, 2012 at 5:50 pm — Reply

    Gollum would sneak up behind Dobby and beat him to death with a fish.

  13. August 7, 2012 at 6:17 pm — Reply

    I’m going with Dobby because even with the ring, Smeagol’s access to magic is limited. Also, Dobby has proven he can fight outright where Smeagol usually tried resorting to trickery. The fight would be long with Smeagol squirming away and hiding, but in the end Dobby would be triumphant.

  14. Oldcomicfan
    August 7, 2012 at 7:41 pm — Reply

    Which is going the make the largest dent if rammed into a brick wall? The shadow or the substance? Gollum is the original upon which Dobby was based, just as Tolkien’s work is the foundation of all other works to fantasy to follow! Comparing the two is like comparing a bucket of KFC to a bucket of chicken soup made by holding a chicken so it’s shadow falls on a pot of boiling water. Dobby is simply an immoral, sneaky little b@$tard. Gollum was a murderer before he every got his hands on the One Ring, and he spent over 500 years perfecting the art. Dobby wouldn’t stand a chance.

    • Slappy
      August 8, 2012 at 3:44 pm — Reply

      I disagree with the copy statement. Dobby as an elf is a throwback to the older mythology of elves being workers (Shoemaker and the Elves) and not the fancy pants D&D Elf we see like Orem, Trell or Legolas.
      Dobby is also not sneaky, but often does as what is suggested by others their way if he sees that it will help out Harry Potter or his friends. Dobby as an elf though written later predates Gollum by centuries and therefore the basis is the original.

  15. Lawrence
    August 7, 2012 at 8:00 pm — Reply

    I think Dobby would win, in his universe, even wizards fear house elves!!

  16. Dino
    August 7, 2012 at 9:46 pm — Reply

    While Dobby might seem to have an advantage with magic, Smeagol is a much more scrappy fighter. When Dobby tries to do some silly magic trick Smeagol will be biting ears, gouging eyes, and kicking between the legs. Add to that the fact that he can take beatings worse than Ali took from Foreman and still stay on his feet and possessing more drive than the Energizer Bunny on crack and you’ve got a natural champ.

  17. randdoom42
    August 8, 2012 at 12:05 am — Reply

    Smeagol withstood torture of the Mordor. He has been driven insane and developed multiple personality disorders and who knows what other psychotic states he lives in. He can take magic and mundane punishment and has the will to wait and strike when the time is right. Dobby does have magic, admittedly beyond my knowledge, I don’t think he has what it takes to survive and I believe Smeagol/ more importantly Gollum does do not be so fast to discount a psycho who will go to any length to live. I mean it worked for Deadpool! (lol)

  18. DarkSidhe
    August 8, 2012 at 7:25 am — Reply

    It comes down to a question of will. Smeagol is a homicidal maniac, and Dobby is just a guy. Even if Dobby has Smeagol on the ropes, he will stop short of killing him, and Smeagol will seize the opening.

    • Slappy
      August 8, 2012 at 3:45 pm — Reply

      Don’t leave Dobby out of the Death match, I believe he would kill.

  19. Axle120
    August 9, 2012 at 12:43 am — Reply

    i am not a huge fan of Dobby, frankly i hate how house elves look in the potter movies, but Dobby can just snap his fingers and send people flying. not only can he use magic but i think he can outsmart smeagal if he did infact have the ring.

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