Critical Hit: A Major Spoilers D and D podcast
Celestial Crusade

This episode: The Final Battle is Here! Will the Layman’s Initiative win, or will the Dungeon Master achieve a Total Party Kill? It’s the epic conclusion to season four of Critical Hit!


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  1. Aspiring Spambot
    January 28, 2012 at 10:03 am — Reply

    You had to work one more temporal mindscrew in there, didn’t you?

  2. Kvazars
    January 28, 2012 at 10:07 am — Reply

    Now I was going to say, and I decided this a long time ago, that this was a great run and I enjoyed it immensely, but there is really nowhere higher to go after the Celestial Crusade. This episode completely changed my mind and by Clingadins beard, this was incredibly awesome. I am really really looking forward to the next season, and possibly even more to the Rob’s game. That said I would like to see a bit more deviations from the Critical Hit campaign, I just get all excited imagining the crew playing other characters in other settings.

    Furthermore, WHAT HAPPENED TO TORQ? If Torq’s exploded I am going to be sad.

    And woah that powerlevel really rose more than I thought it would at the paragon level.

    • Aspiring Spambot
      January 28, 2012 at 10:17 am — Reply

      I had been thinking that as well. Jumping right into a huge cosmic quest before they had even hit Paragon tier didn’t look like it left much room for anything afterward. Then again, there’s still a lot of cleanup to be done and probably many more ways in which the void is still attacking the multiverse, where the adventurers will have to fight them without the gods to back them up. >:D

      Also, I forgot to mention in my first response. Said time mindscrew confirmed what I had suspected all along: Orem was behind the whole thing! Damn him!

  3. The Great NateO
    January 28, 2012 at 10:17 am — Reply

    Yes, Yes, Yes, Nothing but the Best from you all yet again. Thank You for everything guys. Rodrigo enjoy the time off, so you can plan the next season. Rob good luck with your run it should be great!

  4. GWaddict
    January 28, 2012 at 10:45 am — Reply

    OMG!!! What a wonderful adventure. I started listening in October 2011 and have been through all but the final episode twice!
    Rodrigo, your descriptions are so vividly detailed I am drawn in to the story completely. Rob, the tactician, I wish I could be in a game with you “math is hard!” Stephen, from noob to accomplished player, your journey has entertained and enthralled me. Brian, man you get a bad rep for your rolls, but way to turn it around this time. Matthew never stop with the references! You bring so much fun to each episode!
    Have to go back to the start now and enjoy your tale again.
    I wait anxiously for your next adventure whatever it may be!

  5. Marco
    January 28, 2012 at 10:53 am — Reply

    Fantastic, an epic ending to an epic saga (for now). This was, in my opinion, your best work so far. The story kept me glue to my mp3 player from beginning to end. An ending like that raises even more questions though…
    Rodrigo’s take on Orem and Ket epilogues: I’m eager to see what’s going to happen in the future. Is our warlock going to become an antagonist? Is Orem going to met his parents (and maybe the lizard wizard) again? I’m really curious to see how Rodrigo roleplayes and a fresh start with Rob as a DM is more than welcome.
    Thank you so much once more.

  6. TheNewNum.2
    January 28, 2012 at 11:45 am — Reply

    Matthew heard music from Heavy Metal when Orem went poof at the end of the Celestial Crusade, but I heard something else… the closing theme of Doctor Who. Which is about as big a compliment as my subconscious can give a season of epically mind-blowing entertainment. You are left with a mixture of ‘whha?’ and ‘whoa!’ and ‘butbutbut….’ and ‘nooooo!’ and ‘yeah!’ that puts a smile on your face as your mind tries to catch up and process what just happened.


  7. January 28, 2012 at 12:01 pm — Reply

    OMG – putting the A in Awesome and Bad-A

    You guys tottally rocks.

  8. GeorgeDubya
    January 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm — Reply

    GRAH!!! Amazing and infuriating all at once! Brenzen and BBB noooo!! I want to know the fates of the rest of the PCs!

    Also, WOO! Ket lives! Reginald as a Hound Archon!

    Ok, now that I’ve got that out, I think I can be a bit more coherent and eloquent. The last three episodes have been my favorites of the season. Great job on everyone’s parts. I really like how Rodrigo managed to make the characters feel like badasses throughout the season while still maintaining the epic scope of the power of others around them.

    I am looking forward to hearing Rob do some DMing. Keep up the awesome guys.

  9. Chris
    January 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm — Reply

    Is there a lost episode coming from back-when when the PCs came up with this crazy plan? I am very curious to see how a DM manipulates that conversation (or at least manipulates players into coming up with their own crazy idea).

    • GeorgeDubya
      January 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm — Reply

      The plan was actually talked about WAY back at the beginning of the season during episode 83 “A Meeting with the Gods” I think.

      • Chris
        January 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm — Reply

        Yeah they already had a plan in that episode. There’s no podcast in which these guys come up with that plan. Someone mentioned this back then, and Stephen said to wait until the end of this season iirc. I’m hoping there’s a recording floating around somewhere.

        • XantharTheFlame
          January 29, 2012 at 9:15 pm — Reply

          I think Chris is right — and Stephen did promise to explain how that plan came about, because it never did get covered in the role play, aired episodes.

          Please, Stephen??

          Awesome, awesome, awesome — as everyone else here has already said all that needs saying I won’t go on and on…. I agree with them all! Some of the funniest jokes in the wholes season, mixed with some really sad / OMG! moments, lots of curiousity about character fates, and so on, and so on.

          Can’t wait for the change of DM for a while to shake things up, and then I hope we get back to Rodrigo in Season 5 so we can find out the next chapter of Orem, Randus, Torq & Ket’s tale!!!


          • Ryan
            January 30, 2012 at 6:38 am — Reply

            Yes, it would be great to here that story.

          • January 30, 2012 at 11:19 pm — Reply

            Simple Answer: Randus thought it up off panel and it was awesome.

  10. Matos_64
    January 28, 2012 at 2:46 pm — Reply

    I actually teared up a little bit when Reginald informed us of Bao Bel-Bina’s fate. I didn’t realize just how much I liked her as a character until she was gone. :(

    That said, I am loving this podcast more than ever and can’t wait to see what you guys do next!

    • January 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm — Reply

      I can’t wait to see what we do next, either!

    • January 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm — Reply

      Just imagine how Orem felt when he learned none of his friends had been found… and as far as he knows, Ket is gone, too.

      • Kayla
        January 29, 2012 at 3:06 am — Reply

        I really, really want to hug Orem right now. Can I hug Orem right now?

        In all seriousness, this was an amazing installment. The wait is over, but it’s also just beginning, because we (including you guys, if Rodrigo is truly evil) won’t know what happens to the characters for at least a month, if not longer. What happened to Torq, Randus, and the three remaining Holy Rollers? What the frak is up with Ket? Where did Orem go this time? I’ve gotten so attached to all eight of your characters, as well as the NPCs, that I don’t want any of them to go, despite that being an inevitability in a battle like this. Not only is that the mark of a good DM, but also the mark of players who love their characters and enjoy the game. To all five of you, well played, sirs. Well played indeed.

        Also, I am ridiculously excited to hear Rob DM. He’s going to show you how we finish a quest in Nebraska.

      • Frederick Pagliarulo Jr. (a.k.a. Darth Macho)
        May 30, 2017 at 5:29 pm — Reply

        Me: Five years, four months, two days later, gets your Ket joke. Lol

  11. Ricco
    January 28, 2012 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    When this all started I thought: “this is far too long, I don’t have time for this!”
    Now: “God only 2 hours?! Why is Stephen torturing us with this low drip?!?!”

    The greatest thing about Critical Hit is that every weekend I have something to look forward to, no matter how bad or good my week is I know that on Saturday I’ll have something good to do.

  12. Praion
    January 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm — Reply

    Awesome episode. I just thought that the “final fight” didn’t seem climatic enough for me. It seemed a bit to unimportant. The fight against HHSTS was way cooler and more meaningfull. There wasn’T any apparent threat from that guys for the bombold.

    • Chris M
      January 28, 2012 at 7:31 pm — Reply

      I disagree with your assessment of the “final fight”, I believe it accentuates how massive this battle truly was. It made me think of the final scene of Empire Strikes Back, we are left with the image of our story’s protagonist contemplating the fate of his friends, his actions, and his future. Orem floating alone in the vastness of the astral sea, with only is thoughts makes for a great closing scene to this chapter of their adventure.

      I believe Randus is too intelligent to let the group die. I think he will construct a makeshift astral raft to save Torq, Glaa, and SOW, and Albrect.

      I was sad to see Sir Brinzen and BBB die. I really liked both characters.

      As for Ket, I believe that Asmodeus may have stepped in at the last moment and saved him. He is his patron after all and this would indebt Ket even more, perhaps even to the point of his turning against his former friends.

      Only the future and Rodrigo know for sure. This was a truly great season from the Major Spoilers Crew and I am looking forward to the next season.

      • Praion
        January 29, 2012 at 2:14 am — Reply

        I wasn’t talking about Orem, i was talking about Torq, Glaa, Albrecht and Seven flicks the bird.

      • dp8351
        February 7, 2012 at 10:48 pm — Reply

        Interesting, I hadn’t considered Ket becoming an NPC adversary. He could be Torq’s new “blonde guy from the fight on Thony’s ship”.

  13. Sarah
    January 28, 2012 at 7:14 pm — Reply

    :( Noooo, you killed Randus :( I am so sad now. He was my favorite. :(

    Okay, enough frowny faces. (Not really but my sadness is more than emoticons can express.)

    This was super epic. I wonder what will happen to Ket now — if he will become a “bad guy.” I also wonder how well Orem will fit in in the Feywild now that he has had to lose some of his arrogance and prejudice — it seems like a lot of the Eladrin social structure is built of “We’re better than *those people* *sniff*” and I think he has grown beyond that a little by being on these adventures.

    Also, Orem, it’s all on you now to build that Smith statue! And a Randus and Torq statue too!

    • Ryan
      January 30, 2012 at 6:43 am — Reply

      I don’t think Orem’s attitude has changed that much. He can appreciate the new knowledge he has gained of other cultures/races and still be a prick.

  14. foolsmask
    January 28, 2012 at 7:40 pm — Reply

    Great show everybody! I broke my own rule and listened over the weekend rather than wait for Tuesday while I’m at work. The desire to listen was to great. I will listen again on Tuesday though. Can’t wait to see what Asmodeus has planned for Ket, and how his fragment of the Raven Queen’s soul will affect those plans.

    Rob: I hope you turn the tables on Rodrigo when you get behind the screen.

  15. Cal
    January 28, 2012 at 7:41 pm — Reply

    Just awesome, a previous comment mentioned how Rodrigo manages to make the PC’s feel epic despite all that is going on around you, and he does just that. Despite being mere mortals in the presence of Gods, the sense of urgency and importance just makes this whole story arc amazing and so cinematic. I could visualise everything going on in my head clearly, it’s so vivid!

    Tinged with sadness at those we’ve lost now, but excited for the future, and what’s in store!

    Person I feel sorry for is Rob, he really does have a tough act to follow! Best of luck to him! (I’m sure he’ll be awesome too!)

    Best wishes from across the pond! (P.s, you need to work on your fake english accents when you do the MSP, they are out of date!)

  16. Dan
    January 28, 2012 at 10:02 pm — Reply

    OMG Epic Rodrigo. Absolutely awesome end to the crusade. I can’t wait for the next season to hear whats going to happen. The end was really powerful for me being a music guy. Personally I think Rob will be an awesome GM. Kind of interested what game he’s going to do.

  17. January 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm — Reply

    So Orem caused Smith to get superpowers. Time travel confusion at its finest.

  18. Gehrigan
    January 28, 2012 at 10:51 pm — Reply

    Excellent finish Rodrigo,
    I was sure that the Raven Queen’s soul sliver would be Ket’s escape hatch, but did his soul survive?
    I will miss Brinzen as his template (paladin/defender) is my personal preference when playing.
    RIP BBB and Sir B, you shall be missed.
    Randus, it is now up to you!
    I enjoyed item’s journey coming full circle frodo and sam

  19. Praion
    January 29, 2012 at 2:16 am — Reply

    When Rodrigo described the fey mushrooms and fey glow i thought : YEAH. Season 4: Revenge of the feywild. Then something different happend damn

  20. Grimmhelm
    January 29, 2012 at 2:45 am — Reply


  21. Marco
    January 29, 2012 at 4:00 am — Reply

    I really hope we get to see Orem dealing with the fey wild, Torq returning to the natural world and Ket with a new bunch of eeeeevil friends work for Asmodeus in the Astral Sea.
    And time-traveling Randus going back to save Smith (so he doesn’t have to build a statue anymore :P).
    I’ll sure miss 7OW, Albrect and Glaa though…
    Sir Brenzen and BBB deaths will not be forgotten. Sadness.

    • Sol Hawk the Ninja
      January 30, 2012 at 3:04 pm — Reply

      With everybody dying, FINALLY, room for your new 5th Member to join the scene – that’s right – Sol Hawk the Ninja! HWWAAAHHH!!!

      • January 30, 2012 at 3:42 pm — Reply

        We’ll let you know when our next recording session is as soon as that $100,000 check clears.

        • Eothr
          January 30, 2012 at 10:18 pm — Reply


          But seriously, maybe your wife Stephen, or Matthew’s wife could join. That would finally put Rob in his place, no?

          • January 30, 2012 at 11:20 pm — Reply

            I know my wife won’t join, and considering Matthew’s wife had the option of joining in episode 01, I think they are both busy with other things… namely making sure our children don’t burn the house down.

            FWIW: My wife did play D&D when she was in college.

  22. Stan
    January 29, 2012 at 10:08 am — Reply

    Just wanted to say that I totally got the Eddie Murphy Ice Cream reference right near the beginning. Matthew, you’re the best. “THE CREAM OF THE CROP! Nobody does it better.”

  23. Monte
    January 29, 2012 at 1:15 pm — Reply

    Nooooooo… :(

    If only they had accepted Asmodeus’s deal, 7OW, Torq, and Albrecht would all be with Ket right now… I wish there was more of Asmodeus’s investment to protect!

    Am absolutely on the edge of my seat to see Rob DMing! I know you’ll do great!!!

  24. Sol Hawk the Ninja
    January 29, 2012 at 2:02 pm — Reply

    AWESOME! Good job, all of you, even the ones that DIED. All I have to say about that is OOPS! And Orem is responsible for Smith’s death? OREM YOU @#$% !@#$ ELDARIN! JK Just Kidding, I know that MOON GODS are all LIARS – you are AWESOME and YOU SAVED THE UNIVERSE!

    Ket, I can’t believe you made a deal with the DEVIL now it is time to PAY. I have to admit, though, that will be WILDLY ENTERTAINING to WITNESS in the coming season even if ASMODEUS TOTALLY ROASTS YOU OVER A CAMPFIRE and EATS YOUR SOUL with MARSHMALLOWS or SOMETHING.

    Torq, all I have to say is I hope life from here on in gives you fewer CRAP CAKES and more FUNNEL CAKES. YOU DESERVE IT. Also, I don’t care what any power gamer says. Bringing the DOG was the awesomest move you could have possibly made for the finale. My all time FAVE line: “Fluffy. KILL!”

    D&D Bryan, some fine rolls, my friend, the curse is broken. I am so looking forward to your game.

    Stephen, a special thanks to you for all the hard work you put in editing the show. And thanks for the BONUS 2-hour episode. WOW. Do take a breather if you so decide next week, gosh, you deserve it. Actually, all five of you, awesome work. Your dedication to the game really shines through. For a while, it must have felt like you really WERE fighting a war. But you did it, you pulled it off, and brought this AMAZING story arc to completion. Breathtaking. Breathtaking.

    Rodrigo, you are an amazing DM. I have been running my own game for years and I find myself both entertained by you and learning from you during every game. I am finishing my own 10-year (realtime) Story Arc at this time (2nd Ed D&D) and I am drawing so much inspiration from the way you have pulled this off – week after week upping the ante, making threats to the characters REAL, and yet keeping the FUN at the same time. Incredible. ALL you DMs out there you have a lot to learn from him. GREAT WORK. I will delight in seeing you as a player, too. Also, your decision to raise all characters to L11 prior to the finale was a smart move. And considering the number of sessions you’ve run they are DEFINITELY deserving of it. Others say where will you go from here following a war of the gods? If I have learned anything, it is that the Master, Rodrigo, always has new and more astonishing plots cooking. I await your next adventures as DM, whenever they might be. For now, enjoy the downtime. You have given all of us SO MUCH. Thanks for giving us all a window into your world, radial maws and all.

    Stephen, Rodrigo, Matthew, D&D Brian, and Rob, well done. You are the true Celestial Crusaders.

    Your Secret 5th (9th?) member,
    Sol Hawk the Ninja

  25. Beren1
    January 29, 2012 at 3:45 pm — Reply

    3 Skeletors?!! What is this Return of the King?

    Well done everyone.

  26. January 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm — Reply

    Truly excellent listening. I have no idea how the story will continue, but I’m sure it’ll still be equally or more awesome than what it has been. Looking forward to Rob DMing (and Rodrigo PCing) and other D&D related games.

    Well worth my dollar.

  27. Ryan
    January 30, 2012 at 6:48 am — Reply

    It going to be great when Ket returns as a Field Marshall in charge of an Asmodean army that has been unleashed against the forces of the other gods who were ravaged in the fight against the void. Deal with that, Orem.

    • Sol Hawk the Ninja
      January 30, 2012 at 2:42 pm — Reply

      OOOHHHH!!!! Ket would totally DO IT, TOO! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!

  28. January 30, 2012 at 7:49 am — Reply

    Thank you, Gentlemen. Thank you very much.

    • Sol Hawk the Ninja
      January 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm — Reply

      Well earned, sir, well earned ye all.

  29. Chillidawg72
    January 30, 2012 at 10:16 pm — Reply

    Did anybody ever do that art rendition of She who Slumbers in Agony?

  30. Chillidawg72
    January 31, 2012 at 12:06 am — Reply

    That image is too awesome. Set it as my wallpaper.

  31. StellarLeader
    January 31, 2012 at 8:47 am — Reply

    That was… wow. The battle seemed pointless at times but it was good to see Glaa, Ghostbeard and 7OW in action one last time (I don’t name Torq and Randus because I prefer to think they survived). The scene with Orem had me confused. Since no one else has commented about it, I guess I’m supposed to know who the hooded figure was, but I can’t recall it. The revelation about Smith was amazing though.
    And the extra scenes at the end! OMG. I knew Ket would survive but I thought it was going to be thanks to his latest acquisition (the Raven Queen’s piece of soul). I had completely forgot about the deal with Azmodeus. Simply wow.

    Thank you so much Rodrigo, Stephen, Matthew, Rob and Bryan for all of this. You are the best. I’m looking forward to see Rob DMing… let’s hope Matthew’s brain doesn’t blow when Rob’s ellaborate strategies begin to develop.

    Long live the Torqletons!

  32. foolsmask
    January 31, 2012 at 9:11 pm — Reply

    FLUFFFFYYYY…NOOOOOOOooooo!!!! finished second listen…didn’t hear the fist time. I know Matthew is/was not a fan of the figurine, but if Torq survived I hope we get a scene where he mourns for the dog.

    Right around the 1:05:00 mark, Rodrigo and Rob say the flying worm things can’t shift because they are flying…why not? Is it because they don’t have (hover) on their speed entry? That is the only thing I can think of. Where can I find those rules?

    • January 31, 2012 at 9:32 pm — Reply

      creatures that are flying can’t shift. I believe it’s either in the DMG or PHB

      • sandman
        February 3, 2012 at 6:12 am — Reply

        Flying has been updated a lot over the years, you might want to look into this if you like playing by the book.

        • February 3, 2012 at 8:43 am — Reply

          Huh, so it has.

          Hooray for monsters being even harder to pin down now!

  33. Chase
    February 1, 2012 at 7:59 am — Reply

    I kind of wish the last fight had been a boss battle instead of a skirmish with minor void creatures, but that said, this was a great episode.

    I really look forward to the next season. It’s going to be hard to top the Celestial Crusade, Rodrigo, but I have faith. Good luck.

  34. Justin Wawrzonek
    February 1, 2012 at 11:56 am — Reply

    This was absolutely amazing guys! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. The epilogues with Ket and Orem were a great teaser for the next season. I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

    Here’s hoping Randus and Torq survived. I’m wondering if maybe the ship interior might have been strong enough to sink beneath the surface of the astral sea (like the submarine) and maybe they will be teleported to a random location (I think Rodrigo referenced something like that happening if you go too far down into the astral sea).

  35. February 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm — Reply

    Just went to iTunes and left a 5-star review. :-)

    As I said there, excellent stuff, guys. Love your podcast. Pretty much haven’t listened to any others while I’ve been catching up, and I can’t wait for more. :-D

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