Everyone likes to argue about their favorite car, and car company. But what if the car had a mind of its own? What if Herbie, the Love Bug, and Christine found themselves in a parking lot after dark?

Herbie the Love Bug
Herbie is an anthropomorphic Volkswagen Beetle, a character that is featured in several Disney motion pictures starting with the 1968 feature film The Love Bug. He has a mind of his own and is capable of driving himself, and is a serious contender in auto racing competitions.

Christine is a horror novel by Stephen King, published in 1983. It tells the story of a vintage automobile apparently possessed by supernatural forces. Later that same year, a film adaptation, directed by John Carpenter and starring Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, and Harry Dean Stanton, was released.


Who would win in a fight? Herbie, or Christine?

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  1. January 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm — Reply

    If these were two real cars in a head on collision Christine would win. You can’t beat 3 tons of steal. Well you can, but that is not the point!

  2. Meowzer
    January 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm — Reply

    Eitherway logically or lore wise. Christine wins by far..Though Kerbie wins in a..Cute competition? I suppose.

    • Meowzer
      January 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm — Reply


  3. January 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm — Reply

    The maleficent spirit of Christine would inevitably fail before the boundless cheer and optimism of the Mighty Love Bug!

  4. James Winston
    January 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm — Reply

    Although i wanted a car like Herbie as a kid this is hands down Christine. She had a super-natural repair factor whereas Herbie needed to be fixed by someone. So she would probly just go squish his current handlers one by one then pound on the bug till he’s just a pile of broken slag and glass

  5. Speech
    January 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm — Reply

    I gotta go with Christine as well. Herbie has his hijinx but the supernatural malevolence that fuels Christine would crush that silly import before you could say “Buy American!”.

  6. JoeM
    January 24, 2012 at 12:44 pm — Reply

    Herbie because he has the power to raise a loyal army of bugs to help.

  7. January 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    I’m going with the “beware of cornered animals” rule here. Christine would lead the fight until Herbie was backed against the wall, then Herbie would go berserk, Wolverine-style, and annihilate Christine.

    To put it simply: Always pick David over Goliath.


  8. JoeM
    January 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    Now a race Herbie vs Mach 5… I would watch that!

  9. Russ Catt
    January 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    The malevolent spirit of Christine would allow her to set up an ambush that Herbie would not be able to anticipate or defend against.
    Go team evil!

  10. Xaxelbrax
    January 24, 2012 at 1:11 pm — Reply

    Herbie would win because in the end the good guy always wins.

  11. January 24, 2012 at 1:37 pm — Reply

    The shear size and evil contained within Christine is enough to get my vote. Herbie’s not evil enough to destroy, I don’t think.

    @Xaxelbrax: But you forget: “Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb!”

  12. January 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm — Reply

    Unfortunately, Herbie would be crushed. The first half of the fight would be tentative and sad little horn honks as Herbie tried his mightiest to convince Christine of the power of love and friendship, followed by crunching and sadness as Christine proved to Herbie the power of anger and a giant engine.

  13. JambaTheHutt
    January 24, 2012 at 2:06 pm — Reply

    The materials that make up these cars notwithstanding, Christine would win because she would not do some silly anitc to incapacitate Herbie. She’d bump him straight into crusher and honk her bloodthristy horn until Herbie was a cubed paper wieght.

  14. Oldomicfan
    January 24, 2012 at 2:23 pm — Reply

    Although Christine would win the initial battle, Herbie has always defeated every foe ins spite of being crushed, set on fire, smashed in a destruction derby, cut entirely in half and, most horrible of all, encountering Lindsay Lohan! He’d keep coming back until Christine threw in the towel.

  15. The Great NateO
    January 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm — Reply

    Killer Car vs. Fun Loving Car. Herbie is scrap! All you have to do is tell Christine “SHOW ME” and she will.

  16. Drew
    January 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm — Reply

    Marry – KITT
    Screw – Christine
    Kill – Herbie

  17. January 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm — Reply

    Herbie, Because even a hint of a fight and Herbie would call his big brother Disney and buy the property. Christine would repent in a badly-written-parent-pandering second.

  18. Jordan Isaacs
    January 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm — Reply

    My vote goes to Christine for two reasons: First, Christine was written by Stephen King, one of the masters of the modern Horror genre, while Herbie was written by Bill Walsh, who also worked on Mary Poppins and Flubber, therefore giving Christine the edge in a violent conflict; Second, Christine hasn’t been in a shoddy remake with Lindsay Lohan.

  19. January 24, 2012 at 4:07 pm — Reply

    Herbie was in a Lindsay Lohan movie. He is officially dead to me now.

    • Kevin
      January 25, 2012 at 1:23 am — Reply

      Aw, LL was still cute in that movie

  20. January 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm — Reply

    Herbie always finds a way to come out on top. He might be annoying but his record in the face of adversity is 5-0. Christine on the other hand is 0-0-1, although the draw was very close.

  21. Kyle
    January 24, 2012 at 4:44 pm — Reply

    I voted Christine. How could cute little Herbie contend with an evil Plymouth!

  22. Waldo Butters
    January 24, 2012 at 5:35 pm — Reply

    I think if Herbie and Christine found themselves in a parking lot alone, Herbie would make some cute donuts around her and Christine, being a praying mantis of a car, would immediately jump his gears (as the kids today call it) and then she would devour his grill and headlights before laying a host of hot wheels packages in his chassis.

  23. January 24, 2012 at 5:46 pm — Reply

    I think nearly 30 years of Transformers has taught us what a blood-thirsty Beetle is capable of, my vote goes to Herbie.

  24. Kevin
    January 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm — Reply

    What if they held a poll for the lamest idea for a poll?

  25. crs
    January 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm — Reply

    Herbie loses due to the Lindsey Lohan debacle that I was forced to sit through so many years ago.

  26. January 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm — Reply

    At a glance, Christine – who has regenerative powers – but let us not forget that Herbie has Lindsey Lohan, whose career seems to be both indestructible to both all manner of atrocious movies and copious amounts of drugs. If Herbie brought in Lohan, poor Christine just wouldn’t stand a chance . . . but if Lohan was driving Christine . . . the world wouldn’t stand a chance.

  27. January 25, 2012 at 1:17 am — Reply

    Between Christine and Herbie, I picked Herbie for the following reasons:

    Christine’s entire personality is driven (no pun intended) by rage, jealousy and obsession, with no other qualities showing that “she” is a fully functioning mind. On the other hand, Herbie (as named by the memorable Buddy Hackett) displays a wide range of fully formed personality. Not only fear, sadness, and doubt, but euphoria, courage, and chutzpah. Something that is entirely foreign to Christine, who acts like a “machine” programed to kill.
    What was Christine’s goal overall, to kill, to possess someone, what happens when she does? For Herbie, he always wanted to race, and be accepted into a family. Herbie had a destiny for himself planned and a way to achieve it. Christine just had lust for the right now.
    And finally, I voted for Herbie because I drive this:

    Color me biased, but I always wanted one.


  28. ArrowsforEyes
    January 25, 2012 at 9:13 am — Reply

    I think I’m gonna go with Herbie only because in 2005 that car spent an extended period of time with Lindsay Lohan during the Fully Loaded filming, and who knows what kind of dirty tricks he picked up from her…

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