Top Five Hot Women with Dark Hair

Top Five is a show where the hosts categorize, rank, compare, and stratify everything… from cars to gadgets to people and movies. From stuff that is hot, and things that are not nearly as interesting – it’s Top Five.

This week, we rank hot women with dark hair. Are Charisma Carpenter, Veronica, and Witchblade on the list? Take a listen and find out!


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  1. Patrick
    December 26, 2011 at 2:38 pm — Reply

    Hilarious and very sweet…and good one, Stephen :)

  2. Xian
    December 26, 2011 at 4:17 pm — Reply

    Great countdown that managed to be endearing and charming rather than feel sleazy (though, that’s with some decidedly pointed picks which interpret “hot” differently than most such lists)… so if you give me a bye on things like my wife, character loves like Wonder Woman, or intellectual crushes like Sue Perkins, here are my Hot lists.

    Universal picks (women who are likely to find themselves on lists of these sorts):
    1. Jessica Alba
    2. Olivia Wilde
    3. Jennifer Connelly
    4. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    5. Monica Bellucci
    Plus: Mila Kunis, Kelly Brook, Allison Brie, Marisa Tomei, Penelope Cruz, Anne Hathaway, Liv Tyler, etc.

    Personal picks (women I’d pick over most universal choices):
    1. Padma Lakshmi – Beautiful, poised, well spoken, traveled, educated, and read… combines gluttony and lust.
    2. Cobie Smulders – Sorry, Matthew, but Rodrigo’s right.
    3. Camilla Belle – Purty.
    4. Minka Kelly – Purty and peppy.
    5. Kyla Cole – Those… eyes!

    TV crushes:
    1. Krista Allen – Baywatch Hawaii (and more prolific than Stacy Kamano)
    2. Carly Pope – Popular
    3. Lindsay Price – Prolific, most recently, Eastwick
    4. Lexa Doig – Most know her from Andromeda but I crushed starting with TekWar; a scifi circuit regular
    5. Kristen Kruek – Smallville
    Also: Jaime Murray, Lena Headey, Paula Marshall

    Adult stars (more just who comes to mind… can’t really meditate on rank beyond the first minute as Stephen says in the podcast):
    1. Saori Hara – Female Japanese performers have this completely unerotic tendency to seem as if they’re suffering both in sound and wincing facial expressions… Saori acts as if she enjoys the performance, is often the aggressor, and does not routinely emit ear-piercing, junk-shriveling whiny cries.
    2. Anita Blonde – Counts because I like her as a brunette.
    3. Danni Cole – Kristen Kruek’s adult performer clone before the implants….
    4. Maria Ozawa – Wide eyed innocent Eurasian look until she got heavily tattooed.
    5. Stoya – Enthusiastic and contrast between pale skin and dark hair.
    Also: Sunny Leone, Cori Nadine, Malena Morgan, Kimberly Kato, Jennifer White, Kaylani Lei, Miko Sinz, Sandy Sweet, Tera Patrick

    Past chart toppers:
    1. Tia Carerre
    2. Demi Moore
    3. Joan Severance
    4. Lucy Lawless
    5. Kelly Hu

  3. Oldcomicfan
    December 26, 2011 at 5:59 pm — Reply

    I’m glad you guys didn’t go all sleezy on this one. Here is my list:
    #5: She’s a little young to be on the list, but as a new actress who did a much better job in the role – her first acting job – than veteran Kim Darby did in the same part. She hit a home run with her role as Mattie Ross and I look forward to following her career: Hailee Steinfeld.
    #4: Again, she started out too young to be on the list, and inspite of her recent legal troubles, she’s rarely failed to disappoint. A gorgeous girl with a bit of the Mortician Addams vibe: Wynona Ryder.
    #3: This was a toss up between Sally Fields and her. Sally Fields started out much cuter but my No. 3 has to be Jennifer Connelly. I first saw her in The Rocketeer. She is jaw droppingly beautiful.
    #2: From “Leon” to those last three Star Wars movies which Matthew pretends don’t exist even though they are no more crappier than the original three Star Wars movies: Natalie Portman. She’s not exactly beautiful, but she is the Epitome of Cute. She is also a great actress: When I see her in one role, it’s not just a repeat of an earlier role. Lucky girl, she got to shoot guns with Jean Reno, who could out-tough John Wayne and Bruce Willis combined!
    #1: I can’t believe you guys all missed her! You saw her painted on the nose of uncounted bombers in WWII! She was immortalized by not one but TWO comic book femme fetales. I also heard rumors that she was also the inspiration for Jessica Rabbit. Gentlemen, and Matthew, I give you Betty Page! Is it coincidence that Veronica in Archie comics has the same hairstyle and features? Naughty, naughty, Archie! And whether or not the rumor about Jessica Rabbit is true, the fact that she was the direct inspiration for Betty in Dave Steven’s The Rocketeer should have earned her the top spot on everybody’s list! Of course, they replaced “Betty” with “Jenny” in the movie, but since Jenny was played by Jennifer Connally, I can forgive them that.

  4. December 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm — Reply

    This was a tough one. Lists like these are always moving targets. Ask again tomorrow and you’ll get a different list. As I was reading the comments, above I was reminded of several beautiful girls I didn’t consider for my list, which are obvious contenders, namely Mila Kunis and Betty Page, and Paula Marshall.
    Xian..good call on Stoya, she’s just…wow! Here are my choices for today:

    5. Alison Brie – Annie on Community. She plays such and innocent character that always seems willing to be corrupted over to the dark side. Cute as hell and she’s funny, and funny is sexy…Speaking of which…

    4. Sofia Vergara – Gloria on ABC’s Modern Family. VA VA VA VOOOM! More curves than 40 miles of bad road. Killer smile too!

    3. Audrey Hepburn – The original Manic Pixie Dream Girl I think. Look up ‘Classy’ in the dictionary and her picture is there. I adore her in every role I’ve seen her in. Beautiful like a swan.

    2. Ginnifer Goodwin – Margene from HBO’s Big Love and Snow White from ABC’s Once Upon A Time, Ms. Goodwin is absolutely adorable, plus she reminds me of Mrs. Disaster. I’m also a sucker for a great smile, and hers is one of the best!

    1. Gabrielle Union – I was surprised that Matthew picked Gabrielle as his number one as well. His comments about her characters is true, she tends to play bitchy obnoxious characters. I once saw an hour-long interview with her and she came across as very humble and down to earth, which cemented my attraction to her. She’d be in my Overall Top 5 Beautiful Women Regardless of Hair Color.

  5. Trey
    December 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm — Reply

    Is there a reason it’s not on iTunes yet?

    • December 27, 2011 at 11:10 pm — Reply

      It’s an Apple thing. During the holidays, they don’t update their cache servers as often… it’s a real pain.

  6. Andreas
    December 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm — Reply

    Nice one Stephen. Nice one Sir.

  7. December 27, 2011 at 6:54 pm — Reply

    Aaaaagh! You guys call yourselves comic fans? Where is Lynda Carter on your list?

    At least Rodrigo has age as an excuse. Matthew, Stephen, you have some explaining to do.

    Not to me, but to the woman in the tiara who still looks great. (And how great would it be to see her as WW again?)


    • December 27, 2011 at 8:46 pm — Reply

      That’s someone on your list… not our lists… the great thing about Top Five is mileage and opinions can vary, and it is a-okay.

  8. December 27, 2011 at 8:36 pm — Reply


  9. Cory from Edmonton, Canada
    December 28, 2011 at 9:53 am — Reply

    Gina Carano, aka Crush from the new American Gladiator. Yum.

  10. Mark
    December 28, 2011 at 5:08 pm — Reply

    Good episode, I was surprised by a couple of the names. For reference, I’d probably be going with…

    #5 – Kat Dennings
    #4 – Evangeline Lilly
    #3 – Alison Brie
    #2 – Anne Hathaway
    #1 – Kelly Brook

    • Mark
      December 29, 2011 at 8:49 am — Reply

      Slight addendum…I didn’t put her on my list because she flip-flops between blond and brunette, but adult star Sara Stone would realistically be my #2 and knock everyone else down a spot.

  11. December 28, 2011 at 9:07 pm — Reply

    5.) Mary Tyler Moore. From the Dick Van Dyke show time frame. She looked beautiful on this show.

    4.) Marina Sirtis. I loved her look as Deanna Troi in Star Trek The Next Generation and she looks amazing today.

    3.) Sandra Bullock. I had a huge crush on Sandra Bullock when I first saw her in Demolition Man in 1993. She still looks good today.

    2.) Anna Kendrick. I first saw her in Up In The Air and the scene where they are at the hotel party is where I started liking her. She is not totally hot but has a very good cute factor.

    1.) Emma Stone. She is actually blonde but looks better with dark hair and her best movies have her with dark hair. Zombieland, Easy A, and Crazy, Stupid, Love. Like Anna Kendrick she has the cute factor.

  12. December 28, 2011 at 11:58 pm — Reply

    My number one is also Stephen’s wife!
    Kidding, of course ;)

    5: Demi Moore: I continue to consider it a crime that they didn’t make a Wonder Woman movie when she was young enough to play the part.
    4: Penelope Cruz: It’s the accent that does it. I would listen to her read the phone book.
    3:Sung Hi Lee: Solely responsible for turning me on to asian women.
    2: Natalie Portman: Had a crush on her since “The Professional”. We’re the same age though, so it’s not creepy (I think). Unfortunately, I heard that she smokes now and that knocked her down a peg for me.
    1: Anne Hathaway: Gotta love a hot chick who doesn’t take herself too seriously. And holy crap does she have acting chops. Totally stole “Alice in Wonderland” scenes from Johnny Depp, and that is no mean feat. What can I say, I find talent sexy.

  13. Miracleflan
    December 29, 2011 at 6:05 am — Reply

    Dear Casey, When I was a young twenty something, I hated all those cheesy so called Drama – comedys, filled with angst ridden teenagers (curiously, almost all of them late twenty somethings – I’m talking about you Glee!!). But out of all that pile of disaster series (Dawson’s Creek clones), one stood out. It was a show that was about a young kid whose family was a disaster that was “adopted” by another disastrous family. It lasted only 4 seasons, but it had a special relationship: it consisted of a Ubergeek that was hoplessly in love with a megababe. And his love was such he could not even look at her without giggling like a 5 year old girl. However, as fate (and the script) would have it, with the help of the “adopted” one, he had not only the oportunity, but the possibility of claiming the young beauty as his own. Now, she wasn’t perfect by any means, but (again, as the script would have it), she skillfully won our hearts by having a geek inside her as well (take that frase as you wish). Yet still, there was something lacking in her character.
    And finally in the halloween episode of that first season the chistmakah miracle came early. In only one minute of show, this girl won my geek heart forever. Casey, I would like you to reproduce this clip of that magnificent minute to my good friend (I guess after listening to almost 200 MJ podcasts, I can call him “friend”) Stephen Schleicher, so that he too can become iluminated to Ms Bilson’s claim to fame. Could you please show him
    and tell him to replace Ms Bilson in the place she deserves in this top five list???

    Thank you Casey, Patrick from Argentina (wishing someone would save me from this crazy country but no such luck yet).

  14. Miracleflan
    December 29, 2011 at 6:08 am — Reply

    Hey, in case you can’t understand what I’ve written above, I’ll make it simple:

    STEPHEN!!!!! WATCH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  15. Scott
    December 29, 2011 at 11:25 am — Reply

    5. Jennifer Connelly. Despite the fact that I’ve never really liked any of the movies she’s been in, her beauty has always captivated me. She made The Rocketeer [almost] watchable.

    4. Anne Hathaway. I know Stephen isn’t too fond of the porcelain-skin look, but it drives me wild. Add to that those dark eyes and BAM! Instant qualifier.

    3. Sasha Alexander. She may not have the darkest hair of everyone on the list, but I absolutely fell in love with her on NCIS. There’s just something classy about her that intrigues me.

    2. Rachel Bilson. Great hair, dark eyes, adorable face, and Io even like that’s kind of short. She is pretty much the epitome of the dark-haired beauty.

    1. Kate Beckinsale. Despite what I just said above, Kate Beckinsale has always had my heart when it comes to dark hair. She just radiates a sensuality that calls to me.

  16. Bill the Seeker
    January 2, 2012 at 11:35 am — Reply

    These are not in order and Trying to stay away from the choices voiced on the show.

    Gina Torres. best known for playing “Zoe” on Firefly. a gorgeous woman and a pretty good actress.

    If I may be time specific instead of talking just about people in 2011/2012 I’d pick Nichelle Nichols from back in the days of the Original Star Trek (late 1960’s) a remarkable well engineered woman with strength and depth. As well as acting she has a GORGEOUS singing voice and can dance up a storm. If you could time travel cherry pick to get actors for a X-Men movie I think she could have blown your Socks off as Ororo.

    Linda Carter back in the late Seventies. Never amazed me with her acting but she was and still is beautiful.

    Sandra Bullock. Movie Actress. most people her build are a bit skinny for my taste but somehow she wows me.

    Eliza Dushku Played “Faith” in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer and has had several shows of her own since then. I always found Hope a lot more attractive than Buffy. Then again of the regular cast I always gravitated to Willow over Buffy.

  17. Michael
    January 7, 2012 at 11:56 am — Reply

    Way to throw Matthew and Rodrigo screaming and thrashing under the bus, Stephen!

    While I do appreciate and understand the sentiment behind it, there’s at least an implied “this list does not include out wives/girlfriends/daughters/etc.” when doing things like these. Doing so without giving Matthew and Rodrigo a heads up really left them in an awkward position at best.

    • January 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm — Reply

      They could have named their wives and girlfriends, but as they both said, neither have dark hair ;P

  18. JambaTheHutt
    January 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm — Reply

    I’m gonna make this brief, as there is really no reason to explain why these ladies are hot. They just are.

    5. Julie Newmar (during the 60’s)
    4. Shannyn Sossamon
    3. Carla Gugino
    2. Emmy Rossum
    1. Natalie Portman
    I’m willing to break vows with my wife for any of these ladies, and she knows it. Although I’d have to break the laws of time to get to Julie Newmar during that time period so things are looking too well.
    Porn stars didn’t count on my list as they are always naked and that in turn means attractive to me. I also didn’t make a list of people I actually know, as that would be akward and cheap (Steven). My wife knows I love her, but just a bit more than Natalie Portman. Almost a toss up really.

  19. Ron
    May 9, 2012 at 5:38 am — Reply

    So now that you guys have done a hottest women podcast when will you do a similar one for men? Say, the hottest guys with beards or something like that.

    If this is too scary maybe you could get your wives to help.

    • May 9, 2012 at 7:27 am — Reply

      We’ve actually talked about that, but nothing is set in stone… I’d say: Watch the skies!

  20. Sam
    July 25, 2013 at 7:51 am — Reply

    #5; Robin from How I Met Your Mother
    #4; Pauley Perrette(The Girl who plays Abby same reason as Mathew)
    #3; Betty White(This is a amazingly funny, charming, and fun woman and she was a stunner when younger; and still is especially for her age)
    #2; Anne Hathaway, similar to Ziva but sorry Anna you can’t beat my leading lady.
    #1; Cote De Pablo from NCIS(Ziva), I just have no words. Good actor, stunning and note the episode that opens with her singing? That is her singing

  21. J Perez
    September 21, 2013 at 5:26 pm — Reply

    I’ve been listening to the to the Top 5 I’ve missed, and usually don’t comment, but in this case I just can’t understand how they missed:

    1. Carla Gugino, that shouldn’t need explination. Italian perfection..
    2. Jess McDonell form gamespot, because all her expressions come from the way her lips move and I am hypnotised by it.
    3. Sasha Grey, because she’s sex personified.
    4. Rayen Araya, who none of you will know, so google her. Really, you should.
    5. And Jessica Alba because she has a perfect bright smile

    (in descending order of hotness. Yes, we are all pigs. Deal with it).

    • J Perez
      September 21, 2013 at 5:31 pm — Reply

      Carey mulligan might have been in there, but I’m not sure that she’s a brunette…

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