Critical Hit: A Major Spoilers D and D podcast
Celestial Crusade

This episode: Rodrigo explains how time works, then the heroes make a grand return to the city… as only they can.


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  1. Stephen if you want i have a dice this is a d20 and with this d20 i rolled 5 nat 20 in a row i would be willing to send this for brian to use

  2. Brian: stop eating live puppies, tripping blind people in the street, stealing from the elderly and telling kids that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Your karma is horrible man, get ans exorcism too, couldn’t possibly hurt.

    • I chose to believe it is a Ying-Yang thing. He is sooo nice to everyone he meets that the Universe has chosen this way to balance the scales.

  3. For the record, I still think Randus is most awesome, even more so now for having destroy part of a city.

    Regarding the time thing… does the current Torc remember going to get the chronometer and having Randus pop in and take it from them?

    I do agree it was pretty awesome though!

  4. I think that was one of the simpler explanation of ‘time travel’ I have ever heard. Even Rob could listen to that one and be ok with it. Also Rob and Brian will never cease to amaze me with their levels of fail, or maybe just amaze me, the bacon ice cream was actually pretty good.

  5. Now that is plain wierd. Awesome – but wierd.
    Super cool episode by the way. Go team Randus flying a Rocket into a monster breading star.

  6. Aspiring Spambot on

    Wait a minute, this was foreshadowed! In an earlier episode, they made a “rocks fall, everyone dies” joke and Rodrigo subtly corrected them: “Rock (as in, just one) falls, everyone dies.” It all makes sense now. Rodrigo was the shooter on the grassy knoll!

  7. Oh Randus… His failure is our endless amusement. I was out at the store, and could not help letting out a groan of amusement/consternation as that last roll was made and rob and brian started laughing, knowing what was coming.

    Great job guys. Somehow, the “heroes” not being flawless champions makes the experience many times more enjoyable. Love it!

  8. Brian, you’re awesome. Your rolls provide so much entertainment, expecially when the fate of the Astral Sea depends on it :). It doesn’t depend on the dice, it’s the man :D.

    And now a question:
    Are you planning on keeping your level up session to be released later? When did Orem get Dimension Door? By the way, our good eladrin was very “7OW” in his way to get on top of the star. Loved it.

    Rodrigo, the star idea was really fantastic, in a way it reminds me of Neon Genesis Evangelion angels.

    • No, what you hear is what you get. At this point the characters are level 10, Orem has had dimension door for a few levels now. Although we’ve often gone through and talked about at least stephen’s choices at each level we didn’t do it for 10 to get the story moving.

      • XantharTheFlame on

        I can appreciate that, but will you consider going through the next level up for all 4 main characters as they reach the Paragon tier and pick their paragon paths, and why? Also, would you consider posting a PDF of their character sheets on a one-time basis?

        I still don’t understand the timey-whimey thing, even with the explanation in this episode, but I don’t care. :-) I’m going with the “It’s the magic, stupid!” explanation and leaving it at that. I’m good! Can’t wait to see what the timeline repercussions are from Brian’s last nat-1 when using Penelope’s Chronometer — I figure it’s got to be bigger than crashing a giant monster-spewing star into the biggest city in creation and causing bajillions in astral diamonds worth of damage (or whatever currency it was you mentioned).

        But let us not get down on poor Randus (or Brian!) — After all he was the THIRD character to critically fail in the challenge, and he had a success the first time his turn came up!

        Thanks! Great show as always!

  9. I love the show.

    I thought the ‘explanation’ here was seriously wanting, though, or at least opens more questions than answers and introduces some big inconsistencies. If Torq was there (past tense) then where was Ket? If the Penelope’s Chronometer incident occured in this universe/timeline, why was the diplomatic party recovering the artifact, and at what point did they go to retrieve it? Does the sending ritual not get impacted by Rodrigo’s time warps? I ask this last one because presumably the diplomatic party, immediately after watching Randus take the chronometer and disappear, receives word from the artifact party telling them to report back to Shalai — and does not mention anything about the incident.

    PS. The star anchor with monsters pouring out was absolutely awesome. Very creepy.

    • ah, well, it’s like this: Immediately after their (fiasco style) adventure in Sha-lai the ‘other third’ party gets split up, Seven Owls is put on a mission with an elf and a Dragonborn to retrieve Penelope’s Chronometer, Somewhere along the way they meet up with a ship from Erathis’ navy carrying, among other things, Torq. They load Torq onto the ship and head out to find the Chronometer.

      About six months later at the end of the Dark Council missions the diplomatic team breaks up, a ship from Erathis’ navy shows up to take Torq to help retrieve the chronometer while Ket goes through all the checkpoints and studies up on the legions, after that Torq’s ship meets up with the Cirrus Warrior on the way back.

      Somewhere along the way there are hilaroiously confusing conversations as Seven-Owls meets Torq for the first time and Torq realizes the guy he’s been traveling with for months is on this mission too.

      Unless someone’s got a better one. Then that’s what happened.

      • OK… I thought I had understood until I read this. Well, whatever. Messing with time has always been and always will be pretty damn confusing. I can’t wait for the final battle, and I hope we get to ‘see’ Glaa and Seven-Owls Wise again (I don’t mind if Sir Brimson and Albericht are eaten by flap-faces though)

  10. That’s satisfying, except for all of it happening off-screen. I’m listening again to the ‘Other Third’ and Asmodeus episodes to see how those ended.

    I find it very funny to think of Torq saying bye to Seven-Owls on the Cirrus Warrior, boarding the other ship, and finding Seven-Owls there. ‘Uhh, what?’

  11. Big Lizard??

    I can’t believe none of you jumped on THAT!!!

    Dead Milkmen – Big Lizard:
    Big lizard in my backyard
    Can’t afford to feed him anymore
    Big lizard in my backyard
    Bustin’ down my neighbour’s door

  12. Oh, Brian. Oh, Brian. I laughed ridiculously hard at your pain and I feel like a terrible person. Please don’t curse my dice from a state away. You poor guy.

    I know you don’t do it in this campaign, Rodrigo, but what’s your take on having penalties for critical fails? Do any of the rest of you who DM impose consequences for natural ones, or do you just have the check/attack/whatever fail? The way I see it, there are times when a 1 is just a fail, and there are times when what a character is saying or doing is something that, if they botch it, they botch it. What do you guys think?

    Also, the fact that all three failures in this episode’s skill challenge were natural ones amazes me. When you guys fail, you fail well.

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