It’s nearly lunchtime, and I’m starving (stupid, stupid diet).  To make matters worse, Spoilerite Silvergray suggested two bottom-less stomach characters for this week’s poll.

EAT!

Who could eat the most in one sitting?

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The Author

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher began his career writing for the Digital Media Online community of sites, including Digital Producer and Creative Mac covering all aspects of the digital content creation industry. He then moved on to consumer technology, and began the Coolness Roundup podcast. A writing fool, Stephen has freelanced for Sci-Fi Channel's Technology Blog, and Gizmodo. Still longing for the good ol' days, Stephen launched Major Spoilers in July 2006, because he is a glutton for punishment.

You can follow him on Twitter @MajorSpoilers and tell him your darkest secrets...

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17 Comments

  1. March 29, 2011 at 12:34 pm — Reply

    Jughead! Are you guys silly. Just because Matter Eater Lad can eat steel, it doesn’t give him a bottomless pit. And Garfield, although he can eat a plate of lasagna in one mouthful does not live up to sacks and sacks of burgers and shakes.

  2. Nordberg
    March 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm — Reply

    I think we need to clear up one thing. When we talk about “One Sitting” are we referring to dinner, a trip to the local Home Depot, etc? This is important to clarify, because Matter-Eater Lad is going to kick the competition to the curb in the drywall section of Lowe’s (as I’ve seen no evidence that either Jughead or Garfield can partake in culinary delights that are not edible to a non-meta-human). However, if we’re talking about a Glutton Bowl style eat-out of hamburger’s at Pop’s, I think Jughead can channel his inner Joey Chestnuts and take the prize.

    Garfield doesn’t stand a chance. Even if we were talking about a lasagna-eating competition, I don’t think he has the gastrointestinal fortitude of either of the other challengers.

  3. March 29, 2011 at 12:59 pm — Reply

    I give it to Matter-Eater Lad, he’d eat the food, the plate, fork, and table, and be knawing on the diner before Jughead has a chance to look up.

  4. Jimmy
    March 29, 2011 at 1:07 pm — Reply

    Matter-Eater Lad hands-down. And you better look twice at those hands–they may be missing a finger if they were recently stuck in Matter-Eater Lad’s face after he told you not to.

  5. Kirby
    March 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm — Reply

    Matter-Eater Lad, because even if he lags behind he COULD just eat the competitioin.

  6. Ricco
    March 29, 2011 at 1:47 pm — Reply

    It’s always about food with you guys isn’t it? (Insert “gravitationally enhanced” joke here)

    I’ll go with Matter-Eater Lad, sure Jughead would eat all the food in a restaurant, but Matter-Eater Lad would EAT THE RESTAURANT!

  7. ClubberLang6
    March 29, 2011 at 2:00 pm — Reply

    I voted for Garfield. That cat can throw down some lasagna! However, I would have voted for Dagwood from Blondie if he was a choice. He has a sandwich named after him.
    I must say that the ability to eat anything, via Matter-Eater Lad, is one of the lamest superpowers out there. It is difficult to fight crime and supervillains if all you can rely on is your ability to eat.

  8. Ricco
    March 29, 2011 at 2:12 pm — Reply

    Just so Matthew pops a blood vessel and Stephen laughs: Batman if given 15 minutes to prepare ;-)

  9. litanyofthieves
    March 29, 2011 at 2:37 pm — Reply

    All I can imagine is some kind of grimdark one-shot by Garth Ennis or Simon Bisley about these three characters being force fed until two of them explode. And it’s as bad as it sounds.

  10. diagnull
    March 29, 2011 at 2:58 pm — Reply

    I voted Jughead, and I offer this for next week’s pole:
    Which of these characters will do the most damage to the toilet afterwards?

  11. March 29, 2011 at 3:02 pm — Reply

    Not to sound like a complete douche, but I swear this has been a “POW” before. Regardless, I’m going with Jughead, the dude has a crown for a reason.

    • March 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm — Reply

      You may be right… the Great Erasening of 2010 did take down a couple of polls that we no longer have a record of on the site.

  12. March 29, 2011 at 3:20 pm — Reply

    I voted for Jughead since we’re talking about quantity and not eating thru steel.

    However, since Mathew has brainwashed everyone with his Hero Histories, Matter Eater Lad will win.

  13. Brian
    March 29, 2011 at 3:43 pm — Reply

    Jonathan, you’re not crazy, I’m certain this has been polled before. In April of last year, if I can trust Google.

    I vote Jughead. I know Tenzil’s got a super-power, but Jughead cannot be simplified as “just a teenager.” I would put Forsythe Jones in my League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 1940s. He’s traveled to the future to join a temporal police force, he’s fought interdimensional evil to save a otherworldly diner, he’s got experience in dealing with witchcraft and the supernatural, he was the drummer in a band with a number one single that dethroned the Stones… not to mention all the Bob Bolling Little Archie craziness. But the common element in any Archie continuity is: dude can eat.

  14. silvergray
    March 30, 2011 at 12:08 am — Reply

    Yup, you guys did this already. Not that I’m complaining… :)
    Garfield wasn’t included though. It’s interesting that as of this writing he seems to be ahead of Jughead. If it were a lasagna eating contest I guess the “specialist rule” would apply… hmm

  15. Bill
    March 30, 2011 at 11:56 pm — Reply

    For the way the question is phrased, Jughead.

    Matter Eater Lad can eat Anything but how much of anything can he eat? A question probably best aimed at Mathew: Has it been shown in any of the many Legion titles over the years that matter eater lad can eat a LOT? It was my impression that his power was only that he could eat anything. It’s been a while (put it this way, my first Legion books were titled “Superboy and the Legion of Super heroes” and Matter Eater lad was almost never allowed in the stories though he was at the wedding.)

    Jughead Jones must be a mutant (alien, or something!) because that guy can pack it away all day long and still be ready for more.

    Garfield loses: he can eat his weight in food. which is impressive. But he’s a cat so that’s only about 20 lbs of food. That’s nothing to the other two men in this contest.

  16. Boston Moss
    May 5, 2016 at 11:12 am — Reply

    This one has to go to Matter Eater Lad, hands down. Garfield and Jughead are impressive, but they are not in the same league as a guy who can consume and entire silo’s worth of grain or dig himself out of prison by eating to create a tunnel.

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