Critical Hit: A Major Spoilers D and D podcast
Celestial Crusade

This episode: The chase is on, so it’s back to school to seek help.


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Critical Hit T-Shirt Four Against the Void is over, but you can commemorate the trials and triumphs of the Torqueltones with the Critical Hit Season One Limited Edition T-Shirt. This classy, red armor-slot item features the likenesses of Orem, Randus, Torq and Smith! The season one shirt is perfect for a night on the town, gaming with friends, or facing down aberrant, poly-dimensional god-beings. (Funnelcakes and healing potions not included, Major Spoilers not responsible for excessive levels of awesome.)

This is your chance to own a piece of Critical Hit History, because once these shirts are gone, they’re gone for good.

Orders for this item end December 15, 2010. Order today and make each of YOUR rolls a Critical Hit!


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Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to the Robot Overlord. Robot Overlord may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. The Robot Overlord contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. If Robot Overlord begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Do not taunt the Robot Overlord.


  1. I completely agree with Matthew’s outburst / laughing fit. If I was the Dean and Orem lead with his aww, shucks… I’m sorry your nice University is burning down and there’s dead people in pieces over there, I wouldn’t have let Orem finish either.

    But we love Orem, he’s the asshat with a heart of gold.

    • Orem is a great character, he’s got that “meh, what’re you wanna do” approach when he’s done something wrong that just screams punch me in the face, but he’s nice enough that people don’t (Torq standing next to him probably helps). The way Stephen plays him is so much fun! He might be new to D&D but he’s certainly capable of roleplaying his character, the way he made Orem racist towards elves or how he didn’t even try to talk his way out of trouble when cofronted by the dean like he has before, that’s just great stuff.

      • Exactly, the way Stephen plays Orem is priceless… which is why I don’t blame Matthew for bursting out laughing. I did the same thing. Although if I was Rodrigo I wouldn’t have let him off the hook so easily.

  2. Awesome episode again. I listen it while I was jogging under the snow and it made me forget the shitty weather. Always good fun. Just a comment here. The average a DnD group stays together is way under the span the Torqeltones have been together. The fun and complicity they create is awesome. Stay with your group guys, even if it suck at first (which was not the case for this podcast), because it can become all sort of awesome.

  3. I can’t believe Matthew got a “Court Jester” reference in there! I thought my wife and I were the only people born after 1960 who knew that movie existed. Danny Kaye at his finest!…. oh, and the rest of the podcast was great as well. As always.

  4. On the tile sets… my understanding is that the intent was to make the boxes large enough for tiles from other sets to be stored in them. I have two copies of “Harrowed Halls” that fit nicely in the same box as the dungeon set. (granted, I keep all the 3D elements in a separate box to make it easier to find them)

    Great podcast guys. I’ve been listening for about a year now. I listen to you guys when I’m doing mundane data entry type stuff at work. Really entertaining, and has given me more than one idea for my campaign. :)

  5. Can someone toss me the link for the catg site, that Rob mentions in a few of the podcasts. I think i am misunderstanding the pronunciation.

  6. AxiomaticBadger on

    Wait, it’s an Architecture University? And the building “doesn’t” rearrange itself according to the dean’s will? What kind of screwy school is this?
    They’ve got a lot of nerve bashing on the Caerulian Academy.

    Incidently, if it’s the Caerulian Academy of Music, would that be the kind of music that features cannons and explosions as instruments? ’cause I could get behind that.

    • I think there was a Bugs Bunny cartoon shot at the Caerulean Academy of Musically Exploding Boomage. But CH is funnier.

  7. Haha, I quite enjoyed the questions at the end of this episode, especially regarding “The Church and role playing… it can happen”. As a pastor I play this game, in fact I meet with a bunch of other pastor type people and play with them, I even think it’d be cool to get a DnD youth group going if the right happenstance occured, so yeah regarding your comment, “it could happen”? more appropriately, “why wouldn’t it happen?”

    Lovin’ the podcasts still, keep it up

  8. I rewound Matthew’s outburst of laughter multiple times. Really funny. It’s either Randis or Orem who have the unwitting hilarious lines. Sure it made poor ole Stephen feel like a dork, but that’s part of the D&D dork experience. :-D Good stuff!

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