For years people have been asking for the lyrics to the Major Spoilers Ending Theme Song that ends each and every Major Spoilers Podcast. Thanks to song writer and creator James from the NLCast, we’ve got them to share…

Major Spoilers Theme Song

by James Kennison

If I the X Ray vision of a super man
I could save a few bucks and stand
around and read through the covers of the comics on the stand
But although every other page
would be backwards I suppose
I could still read the evens and odds, well I don’t know

I guess I haven’t thought this all the way through,
Plus as soon as the comic book store guy knew,
He’d kick my butt out on the corner

What a Major Spoiler!

Oh wait! I think I’ve found a better way
If I was hulking green or gray
I could bust through that brick wall, take their comic books away
But then the little me would deal
With all the tanks and bombs and guns
Have you tried to read a series with all that going on?

I guess I need to rethink this plan,
How would I bag and board my comics with such huge hands?
Guess I already told ya…

What a Major Spoiler!!

If I was Stark raving rich like a man of iron
I might not be surprised to find
That I might actually have the hard-cold
To follow an entire storyline.
But would I really even need
To read up on all those escapades
I mean, who needs such distractions when your assistant’s such a babe?

But the downside is such a beast,
Being shot up in a Fun-vee in the Middle East
With a gang-sign-throwing-soldier…

What a Major Spoiler!!

Want to download the song? Click Here!

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  1. Ricco
    July 3, 2010 at 10:14 am — Reply

    LOL! “I mean, who needs such distractions when your assistant’s such a babe?” I always thought this line said “I mean, who needs such disctractions when your SISTER’s such a babe”… sound alot less wrong now ;-)

    Thanks for this, now I can sing along!

    • Allen I.
      July 3, 2010 at 10:52 am — Reply

      Thought the exact same thing for a while until I found these lyrics online somewhere else.

    • Callum
      July 4, 2010 at 10:47 pm — Reply


      • mike
        April 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm — Reply

        me too…. I thought maybe it referred to the wonder twins or something. Like if you were still you, but you were also the male wonder twin, you might think that or something.

        • October 12, 2011 at 6:29 pm — Reply

          I thought the same thing, but the author is a priest, so…

  2. brenton8090
    July 3, 2010 at 10:51 am — Reply

    Coulda sworn that was “heart of gold” to follow a storyline. But I never caught “Stark raving rich” I thought it was “strong, brave and rich.” Cool.

    • Callum
      July 4, 2010 at 10:48 pm — Reply

      I should have read all the way down, I heard THIS wrong TOO!!

  3. July 3, 2010 at 11:55 am — Reply

    Awesome work here… And *I* heard sister, too. :)

  4. July 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm — Reply

    I also heard sister and heart of gold

  5. TheNewNum.2
    July 3, 2010 at 6:55 pm — Reply

    I was looking for these for years too, but I eventually found James’ twitter listed on the NLCast website, so on a lark I sent him a tweet and then he posted the lyrics a couple days later. :)

    I too thought it was sister and heart of gold, but the one that I couldn’t figure out for the live of me was the line about a fun-vee in the middle east. I also thought that the first line was a “fat d!ck’s vision of a Superman”. But when I saw that it was X-Ray vision, the line about the odd numbered pages being backwards makes a lot more sense. :D

    • October 12, 2011 at 6:30 pm — Reply

      I thought the “fat ****” as well.

  6. Sam
    July 3, 2010 at 7:44 pm — Reply

    I could make the words “stark” and “man of iron”. But seriously, it sounds just like “when your sister’s such a babe”.

    • TheNewNum.2
      July 3, 2010 at 10:04 pm — Reply

      It really does… but when you listen for the word assistant, you can hear that too. Kind of like the rock music played backwards effect. Your mind hears what it thinks it’s supposed to hear.

  7. Robbie
    July 3, 2010 at 9:52 pm — Reply

    James is awesome.
    ‘Nuff said.

  8. Damascus
    July 6, 2010 at 3:41 am — Reply

    I heard Stark-raving, I got the assistant’s such a babe (kinda made the most sense), I couldn’t hear the fun-vee line though, well not the whole line I just didn’t know what that word was. I thought he said “found me in the middle east”.

    • TheNewNum.2
      July 6, 2010 at 4:55 am — Reply

      I had problems with that whole verse, probably due to my complete lack of knowledge regarding Iron Man. I even tried slowing down the audio track, but there were still a ton of holes in my lyrical detective work.

      The problem I have now is not accidentally singing the words that are wrong, but I’m used to anyway.

  9. Spacemonkey1031
    July 6, 2010 at 9:46 am — Reply

    Heard sister too…lol

  10. Patrick
    July 6, 2010 at 10:51 am — Reply

    Love this song!

    …and yes, I heard sister too…maybe because that is something I could see the Major Spoliers Crew saying :P

  11. Bob
    July 7, 2010 at 6:13 am — Reply

    Like the rest, that third verse always had me scratching my head – I didn’t think Tony had a sister, but oh welll…

  12. Brian
    November 7, 2010 at 10:51 pm — Reply

    I also heard “heart of gold”, “sister’s such a babe”, I thought the funvee was “foundry” and could make no sense of the words preceding “soldier in the middle east”. Kinda thought the last verse was a mash up with Iron Man, and some indie comic, X-Men with Pietro and Wanda, Wolverine getting shot up with adamantium and some reference to Capt. America the super-soldier.

    Now it all makes perfect sense and I’m happy, cause I do love the outro song.

  13. Eddy Perry
    April 5, 2011 at 7:38 pm — Reply

    so good. I’ve played it for my musical friend and we are going to learn to play it. so good.

  14. Eric Stockley
    August 18, 2011 at 8:12 am — Reply

    Hey link at the bottom to the mp3 is dead

    • August 18, 2011 at 8:13 am — Reply

      You’ll have to contact James about that one…

      • Uber Fab
        December 6, 2011 at 8:31 am — Reply

        Gladly. I love this song! But…who;s James and how do we get in touch with him? :)

  15. October 7, 2012 at 8:19 am — Reply

    This song is bizarrely one of the things I most look forward to in the Major Spoilers Podcast because it’s like the comics version of trock only it really sounds like rock and not some alternative folk band.

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The Author

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher began his career writing for the Digital Media Online community of sites, including Digital Producer and Creative Mac covering all aspects of the digital content creation industry. He then moved on to consumer technology, and began the Coolness Roundup podcast. A writing fool, Stephen has freelanced for Sci-Fi Channel's Technology Blog, and Gizmodo. Still longing for the good ol' days, Stephen launched Major Spoilers in July 2006, because he is a glutton for punishment.

You can follow him on Twitter @MajorSpoilers and tell him your darkest secrets...