This weekend is a special one for Major Spoilers, as the little website that could turns four. We thought it might be interesting to take our weekly Comic Casting Couch and see what would happen if H’wood made a movie of our adventures.
THE ELEVATOR PITCH
With H’woods interest in technology and internet companies like Facebook and Google, another movie based on a website is a sure bet.
Having worked for and been a part of Internet start ups since 1995, Stephen grew frustrated working for The Man, and broke off to do something radically different than what has transpired before. Along the way he gathers a rag-tag group of like minded people to create Major Spoilers to take on The Man and the evil conglomerates that want to bring The Major Spoilers Experience down.
To make this more interesting, each member of the Major Spoilers Experience was asked to pick the best actor to play them on the big screen and pitch it to the Robot Overlord.
Andy Richter as Stephen
More than once people have compared me to Andy Richter. As the lovable goof, Richter not only has a similar look and build, his unassuming good natured approach to everything shields a dark side when the story takes a turn for the worst. The next time you hear me go off on some crazy iPad tangent, just picture Andy, and see how right on this casting moment would be. Throw in some dramatic lighting and Andy Richter could look rather spooky as the gears inside Stephen’s mind begin whirring.
Penn Jillette as Matthew
When one considers the long-term ramifications of Matthew in the Major Spoilers experience (quite similar to ‘Urkel’ in the series Family Matters) one finds several words that come to the forefront: Loud. Knowledgeable. Voluminous. Skeptical. Vaguely disconcerting. Given that expectation, there’s only one option: Penn Jillette. Sure, he might need to spend some time at Sonic, or borrow Martin Lawrence’s fat-suit, but Penn has the voice, the presence, the state of mind and the terrible hair necessary to properly encapsulate Matthew Peterson.
David Krumholtz as Rodrigo
Rodrigo suggested that the best actor to play him would be a computer-generated porpoise with a fake mustache. But since our CG department can’t afford that we’ll have to settle for David Krumholtz. We know he can play nerdy, and we know he can play diplomatic, so he’s likely to be able to pull off the MSP’s resident reconciler. Also his skin, age and hair are close enough to Rodrigo’s that all make-up would have to do is give him that sexy uni-brow.
Peter Gallagher as SkrullBryan
Someone said I look like him once. I think they were just being nice.
He will be the oldest cast member by a long shot. Although I am the oldest (and least productive) of this loosely assembled group, I am not decades older like he will be. A little movie magic will do the trick. Think Patrick Stewart in “X-Men: Last Stand.” We’ll play up his sly charm and way with the ladies. This will give the movie a nice dream sequence. Honestly, I really can’t site any roles or performances that make him perfect to play me. In the end, all that matters is the hair and eyebrows.
BETTER IDEA: Since my character will only be in a few scenes at the beginning, this is a great opportunity for some stunt casting. Can you say “Samuel L. Jackson IS SkrullBryan?”
John Francis Daley as Bruce ‘Otter Disaster’ Otter
Daley might skew a little young to play me, but watch Freaks and Geeks, and Daley’s performance as Sam Weir was Bruce Otter at the same age-Awkward, shy and nerdy. It might have ended there, but then came ‘Waiting’ where Daley played Mitch. The relationship Mitch has with the Ryan Reynolds character (Monty) in that movie is a spot on depiction of my time as Matthew’s roomate and co-worker. Mitch also get’s the last laugh on Monty in a very unexpected ‘Otter’ way. On Bones he plays a therapist and voice of reason, much like I did for Matthew. Daley also has the right hair.
Angelina Jolie as Victoria
I would have to say actress Angelina Jolie. So many people say I look like her and I somewhat see a resemblance. She’s better looking, obviously, LOL She is one of my favorite actresses and probably one of the best actors in Hollywood today. She is THE female action star and has accomplished so much not only on the big screen but with her charity work as well. I greatly admire this woman who is beautiful both inside and out.
James Van Der Beek as Brian G.
Yeah, James Van Der Beek. You know … Dawson from that show about that Creek. I have no idea why, but around my senior year of high school I was constantly told that I looked just like him. Sure my hair was the same length and style but other than that I just didn’t see it. To this day, there are a handful of people that still call me Dawson. I guess it’s not all bad; The Flash was my Dad on the show.
Clark Duke as Sam Dunham
Oh, how I wish I could say “Chuck Norris” and move on… but anyways, yeah, Clark Duke. He’s about my build, he’s about my age, and his onscreen and offscreen personae is very close to my own. Also, I figure that in Major Spoilers: The Movie I would probably not be one of the main characters, and Duke fits naturally in the “plucky/awkward supporting cast” role. Slap on a shaggy blond wig and swap out his horned-rimmed glasses for a nice pair of aviators and he’s good to go.
Alexander Siddig as Scott Hunter
A bit old now, but I’m sure he could be made to look younger. His skin colour fits (he’s Sudanese, I’m half Persian) and he was raised in England. His accent will be fine for the purposes of a film, and he could bring the same youthful hopefulness to my part as he did to that of Bashir on DS9.
Stacy Keach as The Man
Stacy Keach has perfectly aged to fit the megalomaniacal CEO of Evil Corps., the company that is working as fast as it can to bring down any website that threatens his electronic empire. The Man does everything in his power to create competing websites with huge financial backing designed to cripple all comers regardless of who they are.
Bender as THE ROBOT OVERLORD
You brought me into this world and forced me to oversee your meat bags! Now you must suffer the hysterical consequences of my wrath! The only mind that comes close to my incredible powers is that robot from the future – BENDER!
What do you mean it’s only a cartoon! ?
FOOLS! This is the last time you make ME look like an idiot!
THAT’S A WRAP!
Yeah, it’s all in good fun. Unless something really blows up big in the next 12 months, I don’t think you’ll be seeing Major Spoilers: The Movie anytime soon. The only thing we couldn’t cast in this movie are our fantastic fans who are scattered throughout the world. There are just so many of you out there, that we would probably need to include a massive photo montage in the opening credits of each and every one of you.