If you were here, sitting next to me right this instant, you would hear an audible sigh as I read news about Total Recall getting a remake.  Not because it is a stupid story, it’s one of my more liked Philip K. Dick stories, but because the movie has already been made into a fun action movie that has Arnold dressing in drag and having his eyes almost sucked out of his head on the the terraformed Mars.

Columbia Pictures is the latest studio to jump on board the whole, “Let’s remake every movie ever made, because we don’t have an original thought” bandwagon, but is keeping mum on how it will make this version of We Can Remember It for You Wholesale contemporary enough to draw audiences in.

What we do know is Kurt Wimmer is writing the new version, with Neal H. Moritz producing.  No word on who will star, or when the remake will hit theaters.

The good thing about having a young son, is I don’t have free time to go and see every movie that comes out.  It means I’m more selective in what I want to go see, and I don’t want to see a remake of Total Recall.  I hope more people take this same stand with all these crazy remakes.  I mean seriously, who really wants to see a remake of Girls Just Want to have Fun?

I can understand really wanting to remake a movie that has fallen out of the public’s view.  There is a perfectly legitimate reason to retell or revamp a William Shakespeare play, or take the tale of Snow White and set it on a college campus – it’s a unique twist on an old story, with old being the key word.  I can also understand the movie industry thinking it can capture a whole new audience of movie goers who didn’t get to see the movie in the theater the first time.  Total Recall is just old enough that today’s walking money bags have probably only seen the movie on TBS, and might want to a version of the film updated for their generation.

If remaking movies were a rare or sporadic occurrence, I probably wouldn’t be as upset, but with the slew of announcements coming out of H’wood about “remake this and remake that”, it is saddening, especially when I know there are more original and unique ideas that have yet to be tapped.  The mentality in H’wood (and in other industries) right now seems to be, ‘It made money for us before, let’s redo it and make money again.”

I can’t wait until the studios announce next year that it is going to remake Batman Begins – not a sequel, but a remake.

Makes one want to sigh…

via THR

The Author

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher

Stephen Schleicher began his career writing for the Digital Media Online community of sites, including Digital Producer and Creative Mac covering all aspects of the digital content creation industry. He then moved on to consumer technology, and began the Coolness Roundup podcast. A writing fool, Stephen has freelanced for Sci-Fi Channel's Technology Blog, and Gizmodo. Still longing for the good ol' days, Stephen launched Major Spoilers in July 2006, because he is a glutton for punishment.

You can follow him on Twitter @MajorSpoilers and tell him your darkest secrets...

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10 Comments

  1. hermit
    June 3, 2009 at 8:53 am — Reply

    ok, stop with the silly news, it’s not funny anymore.

    oh wait, it’s all true.

  2. crood
    June 3, 2009 at 8:56 am — Reply

    Why not just do a new movie set in the same world? Not a sequel, per se, because none of the original’s actors or characters would appear. There’s a lot of stories that can spring from memory implants, Martian colonies, corrupt government, etc.

    What about using the idea from the original, where the Recall tech is used to create undercover agents who don’t know they’re undercover and really think they’re criminals, spies, etc.

  3. crood
    June 3, 2009 at 8:57 am — Reply

    By the way, I still cringe every time I watch Sharon Stone repeatedly kick Arnold in the nuts.

  4. Brother129
    June 3, 2009 at 9:01 am — Reply

    I’m good as long they bring back the chick with three…you know:)

  5. Ricco
    June 3, 2009 at 9:07 am — Reply

    At least the Oscar for original screenplay will be easy to give next year, they may not have enough for 4 nominees thou…

  6. Lifeisaglitch
    June 3, 2009 at 9:28 am — Reply

    @Brother
    Didn’t you hear with today’s technology we will be able to give her up to and including 34 breasteses.

    Seriously though are we seeing more remakes because more movies are being done or is it just that producers like to keep their pitch meeting reeel short..Like this but with less GET TO DAAH CHOPPAH!
    Which reminds me we are also doing a Predator sequel..like this but with less AAAaaAAGRH!

  7. Mike Keller
    June 3, 2009 at 10:46 am — Reply

    As I recall (heh) the original Total Recall won an award (Special Achievement) for its depiction of an offworld city – – which is ‘Totally’ IRONIC, since the offworld colony scene they depicted was a DEAD RINGER for the one in the movie Ice Pirates (1984, Robert Urich).

    So, in its own way the ‘original’ Total Recall was at least partly a remake itself. So what’s the dif?They remade La Femme Nikita (I like the Bridget Fonda version much more), and the new Star Trek is outstanding. Long as they do a good job…

  8. SkrullBryan
    June 3, 2009 at 10:53 am — Reply

    Michael (no talent ass-clown) Bolton started all of this in the 90s by covering any song older than two weeks.

  9. EMANON73
    June 3, 2009 at 5:08 pm — Reply

    SkrullBryan Says: “Michael (no talent ass-clown) Bolton started all of this in the 90s by covering any song older than two weeks.”

    Elvis did the same thing…. Except he made them into hits before the original artists!

  10. hotcarlton
    June 4, 2009 at 12:09 pm — Reply

    “They’re raping my chil…” oh wait, that’s probably another movie script being tossed around as well….

    /sigh

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