Or – “In Which I Review Entirely In Haiku…”



Rapid Fire Reviews…
Comics In Poetic Form.
(Let’s See If This Works.)

Previously, on Everything:

Heroes Lived And Died,
And If You Questioned Stephen,
Grant Morrison Sucked.




AT.gifAstonishing Tales #1:


Logan, Castle Fight.
Two Starks, No Waiting. But Why
Revive New Mutants?









Bo.gifThe Boys Twenty-Seven:


M.M. Finds A Lead,
G-Men Suck In Many Ways,
Huey’s In Deep $#!+.








GABC.gifGreenArrow and Black Canary #17:


New Villain, Old Tricks.
Not Every Bad Guy Needs To
Be A Dark Mirror.







GLC.gifGreen Lantern Corps #33:

Mongul.  Arkillo.
To The Winner Go The Spoils…
Daxamites Enslaved.




IF.gifImmortal Iron Fist #22:

Immortal Weapons…
The Eighth City Found.  Then The
Real Torture Begins.




Mad.gifMadman Atomic Comics #13:

Monstadt Undone By
Joe’s New Superpowers And
Adam’s Brain Rebuilt.




Marv.gifMarvels – Eye Of The Camera #3:

The Bronze Age Dawns For
Phil Sheldon; The Punisher
Looks Much Like Tom Cruise.




No1.jpgNova #21:

Worldmind Thinks Rich Is
Crazy, Rich Flips The Hell Out.
Nova Powers?  Bye!




Proo.gifProof #16:

Sexual Tension…
Cryptic Warnings, Strange Omens.
The Pooh Bear Riff Rocks.




PS.gifPS238 #37:

School Compositions.
Self Disclosure, Zodon Rules.
Moonshadow Is Back.




REB.gifR.E.B.E.L.S #1:

I Don’t Get This Book.
Vril Dox Is Fun, Villains Abound,
But It’s Timing’s Weird.





SS.gifSecret Six #6:

Bane Beaten Bloody.
Jeannette’s A Banshee, Hatter’s
Back, Deadshot Goes Rogue.




SW.gifSecret Warriors #1:

Nicholas Fury.
When He Starts Fighting A War,
Best Steer The Hell Clear.



The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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  1. February 20, 2009 at 10:56 pm — Reply

    Matthew, your poetic efforts are very impressive. Now if only in your next rapid review you could do them in Iambic Pentameter.

  2. February 20, 2009 at 11:14 pm — Reply

    I daresay I’ll not even take the chance.
    Perhaps anther gimmick better used?
    Although, when I allow a second glance,
    there might be merit, I could be enthused.

  3. Kirby
    February 20, 2009 at 11:45 pm — Reply

    I’m gonna give REBELS another issue or two to see if it’s a book for me.

  4. February 21, 2009 at 12:59 am — Reply


    You’re even able to be snarky in that format. Bravo sir.

  5. Eye-Roller Lass
    February 21, 2009 at 5:24 am — Reply

    About REBELS: I’ll read anything starring a bitchy coluan, and for what I got from this issue, keeping up with this title won’t be much of an effort. Plus, there’s Tigorr, for extra awesomeness (shaddup, I like him!). I’m hooked. Vril’s nazi uniform bothered me more than the timing, though.

    I absolutely LOVE bits of romance in a story, but, for that issue of GLC, I’d gladly skip the lovey dovey part to see some progress on the Daxam situation. And more Mogul-on-Arkillo action! The Tom Sawyer reference was a nice touch.

    And, Matthew, way to grasp of the comic’s zeitgeist!

  6. February 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm — Reply

    Zeitgeist? I got that in college, a little penicillin cleared that right up.

    The romance subplot in Green Lantern Corps is my favorite bit, especially as regards Kyle and Pinky Doctorton, though the whole “United Colors of Benneton” Lantern bit is getting on my nerves already, and we’re only four colors into it all…

    Dox’s SS uniform was kind of cool, though I’m wondering about the Threeboot Brainiac 5’s influence. I guess having more than one Legion isn’t all that much more complicated than having two Justice Societies (one on Earth-2, one on New Earth) but still, it seem unwieldy.

  7. Eye-Roller Lass
    February 21, 2009 at 4:50 pm — Reply

    Just make sure you wash your hands before and after you grasp it. Better shower.
    I’m just glad Kyle”honey, why aren’t you breathing?” Rayner and Natu got their feelings resolved already, instead of dragging some sexual tension subplot for months. I like her character, I hope she survives longer than her predecessors.

    As for the Threeboot Brainiac 5 cameo in REBELS, personally, I’m not too concerned about what it means in continuity terms. Threeboot Brainy was the one who interacted with that particular version of Supergirl, so it makes sense that he should be the one to appear. Also, IMO, of all incarnations, that’s the one mean enough to give Vril himself a run for his money!
    About the costume, I’m just don’t see why Vril would need riding pants in space!
    I’m a HUGE Legion fan, so, as long as there’s at least one I can recognize in a near future, fine. If more of them pop out from L3W, and we get to see more Brainiac Fives arguing, well, there are worse things.

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