Being a member of the Major Spoilers team, but having not listened or participated in the Major Spoilers podcast, I was the perfect person to review Jenna Jamesonâ€™s Shadow Hunter for the site. Why? Because I hadnâ€™t heard what apparently many of you have heard; that it was no good. All I know is that Stephen asked me to review it, and so I will.
Sadly, for any of you that enjoyed it, you wonâ€™t be getting a different answer; this comic book blowed. Don’t believe me? Proof after the jump!
To start with, I was pretty certain that Jenna Jameson had died. It would have made sense to me, for someone to publish this posthumously. However according to Wikipedia she is alive, so I have neither any idea who I was thinking of nor any idea why Virgin Comics would want to print this book.
To be fair, I loved the artwork. Mukesh Singh really pulled off some beautifully fantastical artwork, and the splash page towards the end of the book was simply stunning. I am a fantasy fan at heart, and love the dark detailed drawings. Granted, Dr. Ingersol looked like a man, and it wasnâ€™t until her last appearance in the comic that I realized otherwise.
That, however, is the best that I can say about this comic. In what seemed nothing more than an attempt to express some weird love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jameson has created her own little make-believe world. But unlike Buffy, Shadow Hunter has no possible storyline in sight.
I would offer to summarize the story line for you, to save you the trouble of reading this book. However, upon reaching the end of the book, I was so unsure of what actually happened that I wouldnâ€™t be able to do it justice.
From what I can gather Jenna Jameâ€¦ no, hang on, Jezzerie Jaden â€“ my mistake â€“ can see demons and monsters in her waking world like we see humans. Apparently the creatures are represented by the drawing talents of whatever age JJ is at; working their way up from bloated stick figures to more filled out â€¦ cupids, apparently.
At some point however Jezzerie walks out in to the world â€“ newly gifted pendant in tow â€“ and sees the demons for what they, presumably, truly are. At this point she apparently calls on years of martial arts training (I once again assume) and hacks in to a now solidified demon. She is within seconds coated in demon blood and gore, whilst walking the streets of New York.
This is where they start to get hazyâ€¦ yeah, thatâ€™s what I thought.
Apparently nobody else can see these demons, but their blood and guts coating Miss Jaden is perfectly noticeableâ€¦ I think. They definitely canâ€™t see the demons; that much is for certain, except, within a few pages we see that there is something causing havoc in New York such that a news crew is on the spot. I got a little confused.
After her landlord so lovingly shows Jenna her â€¦ sorry, Jezzerie her boyfriend whoreing it up with some women somewhere, she is forced (why?) to go back to the doctors where, under testing, undergoes a â€œgrand mal soul split.â€ No, Iâ€™ve no idea what it is either, but apparently itâ€™s bad!
Within moments her hair turns black, a sword comes out of her arm, a mysterious stranger comes to help, and she is reunited with a family member who, yes, you guessed it, is who she is fighting against.
Whether you want to parallel it to Star Wars, Buffy, Shakespeare or a dozen other stories, itâ€™s up to you. But whichever you choose, Jennaâ€™s storytelling ability is literally non-existent. Not just her actual ability to write coherently, but her storyline was somewhere on holiday in the Bahamas and when anyone got a chance to speak amidst the dozens of narrative boxes, they sounded as if the first page child had written them alongside her stick figure drawings.
I may sound overly harsh, but over the past several weeks wherever Iâ€™ve reviewed, the lowest Iâ€™ve ever given was a 3 out of 5, and most of the time it was 4. This book, is only worth stealing â€“ which I am not advocating â€“ which means I donâ€™t think anyone should hold a copy. EVER! The art was wonderful, true, but thankfully his artwork can be found elsewhere. Nevertheless, Jenna Jamesonâ€™s Shadow Hunter receives a 1 out of 5, entirely on its artwork.