Or – “The First Meeting Of ‘The Awkward Silence Club’ Will Now Come To Order…”


That table looks quieter than the morning after a drunken road trip to Tijuana. “Wanna stop that WHISTLING??” Hal Jordan’s love life has never been simple, but the DCU’s designated stud muffin’s life just got even more complicated, with a super-powered woman wanting to go praying mantis on him (and I ain’t talkin’ kung fu, here) and a cadre of alien amazons with a grudge. Seems like some days, you just can’t keep the ladies away with a stick… luckily, he’s got a power ring.

Previously on Green Lantern: Abin Sur’s ship crashed to Earth, and the alien knew he was dying. Instructing his ring to find a candidate who was fearless and honest, it GL1.jpgidentified Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner. Hal was closer, so the ring chose him to be the new Green Lantern. Then, The Silver Age happened. Hal eventually was consumed by a force from beyond, (some call it the work of Sinestro, but I call it “Editorial Demando,” a much more insidious beast) went crazy, died, got somewhat better, was still partly dead and not crazy anymore, then was able to resurrect both himself and the Green Lantern Corps. After all that, he then spent a year as a prisoner of war, and then went on a date. Unfortunately, it was somewhat interrupted by an ex-girlfriend who was possessed by an alien power gem, the Star Sapphire. When the gem thought Hal had a new girl, it then possessed her, then Hal and the ex-girlfriend fought the potential girlfriend in an issue rife with innuendo, implied nudity, and a strange menage-a-trois vibe. Of course, no threesome is complete without bad things happening afterwards, so immediately after defeating Star Sapphire, the Zamarons who created the gem arrive, apparently to see the Earth be encased in star sapphire for eternity… And you thought Battlestar Galactica was complex?


Hal quickly engages the Zamarons in a game of “Hide And Go %&*$% Yourself,” while Carol ingeniously takes a broken piece of Sapphire’s armor and uses the end like a prybar to wedge the gem off Cowgirl’s head. “Better bite down on something… Trust me, Blondie. This is going to sting.” Cowgirl seems to be down for the count, and there’s a part of me that thinks Carol is enjoying gouging a hole in Hal’s new potential squeeze’s head. Meanwhile, Green Lantern engages the Zamarons (and Daniel Acuna’s art and coloring here is BEAUTIFUL) in battle, while they try to convince him to choose the woman he loves and let her live forever by his side…


Every time I hear that aphorism, I’m reminded of a college friend who ended it with, “And if it don’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.” Oh, Sam Weinhold, wherefore art thou? Hal is busy enough that he has to take back the power he loaned Carol, who manages to rip the gem out of Cowgirl’s head, leaving both of them naked in the gift shop. “My head’s killin’ me,” moans Cowgirl. “Yeah,” replies Carol, “The sapphire’s worse than the morning after a dozen martinis.” Realizing who she’s talking to, Cowgirl snipes “Wouldn’t know, Veronica. I don’t drink ’em.” Heh. Does that make Cowgirl Betty? If so, is Guy Gardner Reggie? (They have the same haircut!) Carol tells Cowgirl to get moving, and she shoots back, “Don’t get your grandma panties in a bunch. First things first… where’s my hat?” A woman with priorities… As harsh as this conversation is, it’s nothing compared to the heat Hal is taking from the Big Z’s.


Put yourself in Hal’s spandex for a moment. The Zamarons represent the polar opposite of what he stands for, the antithesis of what he’s defending for however long our forty-eight years of Green Lantern represent in the DCU (probably about two years and six weeks at the current exchange rate.) They’re going to kill him if he doesn’t make a choice whom to mate with. On the one hand, we have Jillian ‘Cowgirl’ Pearlman, a fellow pilot, a wild child, and a smoking blonde with a cute Southern drawl. On the other hand, Carol Ferris, dark MILFy brunette, the proverbial girl with the right allocations who is fast, and thorough, and sharp as a tack. With these two utterly beautiful women in the line of fire, do you choose Short Skirt/Long Jacket, or the Desperado who has yet to come to her senses? It’s a rough choice. But if you’re Hal, there’s a cardinal rule, one that’s probably tattooed on his bicep: There’s always another woman.


Okay, even given the ookiness of this “Choose your woman!” plot device, that’s brilliant. With his mate apparently chosen, the Sapphire quickly shoots itself into the Zamaron’s forehead, and she is transformed into Star Sapphire. Hal takes the chance to get the bystanders out of the line of fire, while the Zamarons (who all sound just like Bea Arthur in my mind [“Green Lantern will die… BY SNU-SNU!”]) try to deal with one of their own gone rogue.


That suits not nearly as sexy on the creepy purple alien, which, I suspect, was the point. The Zamarons teleport away, having no way to help their sister here, leaving Hal and two half-dressed women who may or may not love him. Thankfully, he deals with the situation in a manner that doesn’t make me want to punch him. “Well… who’s up for a drink?” Of course, there is the school of thought that perhaps getting them some more clothing might be helpful, but at least we’re past last issue’s eerie super-powered pillow fight. Returning to the bar where the whole problem started, the trio orders and Cowgirl is thrilled to get her hat back. After a very stilted conversation, Carol leaves without even waiting to get her martini (although, given the waitress’ snotty attitude, she may be right in assuming it ain’t coming.) Hal tells Cowgirl, “She’s moved on.” “Have you?” is the pointed response… Jordan smiles and FINALLY asks her out for Saturday night. Meanwhile, back on the Zamaron homeworld, (cleverly named “Zamaron”) the space-Amazons have literally butchered their sister, carving the gem out of her head, noting that the sapphires are hard to control. Ya think? To rectify this, they “take a page from the book of Oa,” shaping it… into a pink ring.


Oh… crap. So, there are 7200 Lanterns, presumably there will be an equal number of Sinestro Corpsmen, and now, the Zamaron Corps? That’s over 21,000 omni-powered space policemen with different agendas. I sure hope Wildfire and company establish a new Legion to police these freaks. Also ominously, back on Earth, Hal visits his old pal Tom Kalmaku, and finds that Carol is divorced… but didn’t want to tell him. Dun dun DAAAAAH! Then, as promised, we get another Dave Gibbons drawn origin of a character spoilered by stoopid Wizard a million years ago… Amon Sur prepares to enter a “fear lodge” to confront his own innermost horrors to best decide how to spread fear throughout the universe, but first, he gets more background.


Hundreds of years ago, a miner purchased an entire asteroid belt for virtually nothing, since no one believed that it’s ores could be mined. Within just a few months, he’s richer than he could ever have dreamed, becoming not only successful, but a symbol of hope for the working class. He fought against unfair hours and unsafe conditions, making sure his miners were safe and protection, all the while ignoring the strange monolith just outside his camp. One night, full to the gills from a celebratory feast, he heard strange noises from that rock…


Here endeth… the lesson. With nothing left to learn or lose, Amon Sur (son of Abin) enters the fear lodge. Next issue, we’re promised, the Sinestro Corps is here to bust some heads. I am pleased to say that the whole Captain-Kirk-with-a-domino-mask storyline is complete, with much less of the nearly-naked catfighting. Carol and Jillian acted like grown-ups, even when they were taking shots at each other, and Hal found a clever loophole in the whole “Pick Your Prize” aspect of it all. I am not thrilled with another set of ring-slingers in the universe, as it seems a bit like overkill, but I’ll reserve judgement until I see what side they Star Sapphire Corps falls on.

The art was refreshingly clear and pretty, as usual for Acuna, and the writing was much less troublesome than last issue. The backup felt like one of the old Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons “Tales of The Green Lantern Corps” shorts, which is a good thing, but I’m very glad to see the Sinestro Corps business finally get off the ground and GO SOMEPLACE, already! Hal is Hal, most of us either love him or hate him (and I don’t want to hear how Kyle was better, either) but all in all, the story did what it should have: established a love triangle, gave us a reason to like Carol (maybe even to root for her) and made Star Sapphire more than just a punchline. It did that well, earning 3 stars out of 5, though I still think that Hal’s offer of drinks when confronted with two half-dressed women seemed a bit TOO practiced, didn’t you?


The Author

Matthew Peterson

Matthew Peterson

Once upon a time, there was a young nerd from the Midwest, who loved Matter-Eater Lad and the McKenzie Brothers... If pop culture were a maze, Matthew would be the Minotaur at its center. Were it a mall, he'd be the Food Court. Were it a parking lot, he’d be the distant Cart Corral where the weird kids gather to smoke, but that’s not important right now... Matthew enjoys body surfing (so long as the bodies are fresh), writing in the third person, and dark-eyed women. Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as: Fear! Surprise! Ruthless efficiency! An almost fanatical devotion to pop culture!

And a nice red uniform.

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  1. Mark I.
    June 5, 2007 at 2:08 pm — Reply

    Eh. Just spin off the Zamaron ring into a manga called “PINK LANTERN” about a perky and precocious schoolgirl who is selected by the Pink Lantern Corps to defend Tokyo from the evil Tentacle Clan of Dimension Q. Give her a spunky talking purple space ferret as a sidekick, a glasses-wearing best friend who secretly wishes to be a Pink Lantern and insert a token “bad boy” in the form of “Jimmy Fastdragon,” a cocky speedster with quicker feet and a smart mouth! Hilarity ensues.

    How am I not RICH already? This crap writes itself! Oh, and I’ll give the main character an older sister who happens to be an aspiring television chef and pop star…

  2. June 5, 2007 at 2:16 pm — Reply

    I did ask the same question…

    Well, sort of. I substituted “in therapy” for “rich,” but it’s basically the same sentiment. :)

    Still, it’s kind of got a ring to it (no pun intended) and aren’t DC and Tokyopop working together on CMX? Pitch it to Didio!!

  3. June 5, 2007 at 2:58 pm — Reply

    Well, Bedovian seems to be a tad cooler than he sounded…oh, what am I saying. He’s AWFUL.

  4. Sean Curley
    June 5, 2007 at 3:05 pm — Reply

    Hal’s solution was unexpected and quite fun, although it doesn’t, strictly speaking, make any sense compared to how the Sapphire previously operated (“previously” meaning “the last two issues”); previously, it seemed to have semi-psychic abilities to sense Hal’s desires, but here Hal fools it with a simple gesture (in fact, he even openly mocks the Zamoran as the Sapphire targets her).

  5. June 5, 2007 at 3:11 pm — Reply

    Hal’s solution was unexpected and quite fun, although it doesn’t, strictly speaking, make any sense compared to how the Sapphire previously operated (”previously” meaning “the last two issues”); previously, it seemed to have semi-psychic abilities to sense Hal’s desires, but here Hal fools it with a simple gesture (in fact, he even openly mocks the Zamoran as the Sapphire targets her).

    I think that was the intent… Set up a dark and serious threat, then allow our hero to undermine it with cleverness and a bit of humor. It definitely establishes Hal as an unconventional thinker (it may not be severing the Gordian knot, but you have to admit, it was nice) and as a dry wit. I think perhaps the sapphire was responding as much to his actions and protectiveness of Cowgirl last issue, and this issue did the same when he ‘chose his woman.’ It also pokes a hole in the unpleasant underlying issue, his choice between old flame and new spark.

  6. June 5, 2007 at 3:14 pm — Reply

    Well, Bedovian seems to be a tad cooler than he sounded…oh, what am I saying. He’s AWFUL.

    I’m going to say it again: These tales are written as little Rod Serling pieces with trick endings. Having the endings explained in loving detail ahead of time took all the punch out of their gutshots… In the first panel, I looked at the lump of rock and said, “Okay, the snail is in there, and somebody is getting eaten.”

    But doesn’t he look adorable in his little yellow jester’s collar? Like a poodle in a skirt… :)

  7. June 5, 2007 at 4:01 pm — Reply

    Wait…Jester’s collar? Where?

  8. June 5, 2007 at 4:30 pm — Reply

    In a portion of the book that I forgot I didn’t scan… :O

    I’ll put it up when I get home tonight…

  9. June 5, 2007 at 4:45 pm — Reply


    Introduce a FOURTH Faction, say the Lanterns from the Bizarro World who bear Blue or maybe Red Rings (made from the corresponding Kryptonite types), and we could have a proper Space Slugfest. Imagine “The War Of The 28, 200 Rings!”

  10. Maximus Rift
    June 5, 2007 at 11:04 pm — Reply

    “The War Of The 28, 200 Rings!”? A part of me would like to see that…

    Of course all the writers would die from brain aneurysms afterward, but them’s the breaks.

    Still, the pink rings aren’t that bad. Even if they decided to make more other color rings; their organizations would be way too young for them to be anything more than an anecdote. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be a group. It could be one guy (a la Quasar or a throwback to Kyle Rayner: Year One). I mean you already have Yellow Fear and Pink Love energies along with Green, why not Blue or Red?

    BTW, I just remembered that Arisia is also still alive making her ex number #2. Think DC will make this triangle a little more complicated?

  11. Baal
    June 6, 2007 at 10:54 am — Reply

    Arisia the retconned jailbait isn’t in Carol’s leahue and Cowgirl is one half of an appearance of outdistancing her as well. I still think it’s a shame Hal never did Katma Tui or Johns would have been compelled to revive her too. Hey, how about scenes where we find out Hal did Alex Witter and Kyle’s mom so we could have them back too?

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